I wonder if the generation I find myself in will stay the course, fight the hard battles, pay the price, and sacrifice for real justice. We seem to be willing and comfortable equating justice with raising awareness. We are content to know about the problems in the world, feel bad about it, and buy the t-shirt. The Nobel Foundation endorses this equation of activism. A guy a few years ago won an Oscar and the Nobel Peace Prize just for telling the world through a movie that humanity is supposedly destroying the globe. This year they gave it to another good man; however, his achievement was simply having the potential to do something great.

Our standard for peacemakers has dwindled to public relations campaigns and possibilities. When William Wilberforce and company brought justice to the forgotten and oppressed, they did more than that, and they endured the hard long struggle for the freedom of those who endured an even harsher reality—they changed the world for millions of its citizens. Actual change . . . hard to believe, eh? But they did it. The anti-slavery movement did not just give voice to the silenced; they were their arms, hands, feet, and actions. They were skilled, intelligent, collaborative, and hardworking. They were also passionate, idealistic, and hopeful.

I see a generation who is filled with compassion but low on resolve, and it reflects our leadership. A leadership that has been captivated by social networks, blogs, and so-called influence to the extent that they are willing to sacrifice little and suffer less. We are not willing to dedicate our lives, professions, energy, and brains to the forgotten and oppressed. And we know it. We know our actions are not enough to end sex trafficking, slavery, starvation, and homelessness. Leaders settle for bumper stickers, shoe gimmicks, and a wide assortment of twenty-something trends.

We are told we have a lot to offer: backs and pockets. But we all know we have even more than that. If only we, as leaders, dreamed bigger and called people to a bigger life. A life of literal abandonment of ourselves for the good of others. Using all that we are to bring mercy, kindness, and justice to the lives of neighbors.

This isn't about guilt, it is about knowing who we are and living like it. The numbers shouldn't make you feel guilty for what you have, they should remind you of what you are called to do, what we are capable of accomplishing, and ultimately what we are supposed to do. We are the most talented, connected and creative generation ever. What if we only settled for changing the world of millions of people:

Sex-trafficked: 2,500,000 people
Slaves: 27,000,000 people 
Living on less that $2.50 a day: 3,000,000,000 people
Homeless in United States alone: 1,600,000 people

I pray for a community of people with the resolve to go for it, and the leadership to organize, equip, and release us to do it well.

Brad Watson and his wife, Mirela, live in Portland, Oregon. You can find more of his writing at http://www.bradsstories.com.

Sigh—it was so beautiful and skillful and . . . .

The presence of such great works of art, displaying artistic mastery I cannot comprehend, completely overwhelmed me. On loan from the Art Institute of Chicago, the Kimbell presented more than 90 masterpieces from the impressionist era. Displayed were the works of master painters Degas, Monet, Renoir, Cezanne, Van Gogh, and Toulouse-Lautrec—just to name a few! The gallery not only grouped the paintings by artist, but also in a chronological manner; thus exposing the evolution of impressionism throughout the mid-nineteenth to early-twentieth centuries. To think a handful of painters, whose artistic eye challenged traditions and abounded with creativity, reinvented the art of painting and influenced culture decades later—absolutely incredible.

My afternoon at the museum made me ponder, What is the evangelical Christian to do with this art? Monet lived with another man's wife for 13 years; Degas was a vocal anti-Semite; Van Gogh acquired gonorrhea from an alcoholic prostitute he patroned for two years and was committed to a mental institute (during which he painted Starry Night); and Renoir fathered an illegitimate child by Aline Victoria Charigot five years before he married her. These hall-of-famers are not exactly upstanding Christian men.

Yet, when I look at the works of the impressionists, although an art novice, something within me reacts to the beauty and skill I behold—much the same way I react when I encounter nature. I am beholding God's glory. It prompts me to worship.

Created to Create

In Genesis 1:26-28, we learn that God created people in His image—possessing authority, a free will, a spirit, emotions, and creativity. As nature glorifies God by showing His creativity and skill (Psalm 19:1-2; Psalm 104), humanity glorifies God by reflecting His image. Thus, the artistic/creative person is an expression of God's image and glorifying God as he or she creates. Other Christians can then praise God and worship Him not only when they see His creative works—a sunset or mountain chain—but also when they see the creative work from His human creations—paintings, sculptures, architecture, design, literature, etc.

Pondering these possibilities reveals we can enjoy God and worship Him by enjoying His creation—both of nature and culture. (See 1 Timothy 4:1-5; Ecclesiastes 2:24-25, 5:18-19, 9:9.)

Although we may not agree with the moral and religious choices of a particular artist, we can, however, recognize the creative skill—whether genius or just simply genuine—as possessing some element of good and beauty, much the same way God set the example by declaring His creative works ultimately good (Genesis 1). We can appreciate those through the lens of God's creation—He made the person who could create something so unique and complex!

Create No Gods Before Me

Just as creation can become an idol, so can art—paintings, music, films, etc. This happens when it replaces God in importance. For instance, a person may admire and revere Leonardo da Vinci's The Last Supper but despise and reject Jesus. Furthermore, the Scripture warns against immersion in culture (Romans 12:1-2; 1 Corinthians 8:-10; 2 Corinthians 6:14ff; Ephesians 4:17ff;  1 John 2:15-17).

Yet, because an artist's material is not overtly Christian or is blatantly non-Christian, does it mean believers cannot praise God for the skill given to that person by enjoying the art? Perhaps, in the secular culture—art, music, literature—there are still glories of God to behold.

To the Artist

This should also be good news to the artist. No longer must you lay down your paintbrush, cloth swatch, or pen to pursue a Christian vocation. "Being in the ministry" takes all shapes and sizes, and some of those folks need to glorify God by utilizing and sharpening their God-given talents and interests. Just as God provides an example for the missionary, the pastor, or the theologian in His Word, He also provides an example for the creative heart. Think of the grandeur of Eden, the pomp of the Temple, and the descriptions of the new heaven and new earth. You are not left without an example. God is the ultimate artist, the ultimate creative mind.

In All I Do

Reading this, some may cringe. Thanks to America's puritanical heritage, it still may be difficult for American Christianity to swallow the idea of embracing creativity as okay, not to mention as worship. However, my Kimbell experience taught me that worship of God is not limited to Bible study, prayer, church, attendance, and good deeds. No, worship of God penetrates every moment of life, seeing Him in all I do and all I meet (1 Corinthians 10:31). Although I live in a fallen world, which often mars the purity of God's image in us, such sin can never fully hide our original design—to glorify Him. We do that when we create—stirring sermon or skillful watercolor, all to the glory of the great Creator.

Question: Knowing that bearing God's image means people are prone to create, how does that impact the way you categorize art—music, sculpture, paintings, films, etc?

Emily White Youree is a freelance writer and editor who lives near Fort Worth, Texas with her husband Bryan.

We looked at each other and I knew the silence on the other end of the phone was the answer. My chest tightened and I could feel my cheeks flush. The pressure behind my eyes threatened to pound a crack into the dam holding back my pooling tears.

Jim looked at me with apology written on his face, and as he continued to plead with my dad, I slipped away. I went to my room and curled into a ball on the bed. The tears came. Quick and hot. "God!" I cried out. "What do I do? How could something so beautiful and blessed turn into something so painful and raw?" I buried my face farther into the pillow and wrapped my arms around my knees. I could feel my heart thudding into the mattress as a warm peace trickled through my body.

A calm, gentle voice whispered, "I will walk with you. I will hold your hand, and I will not disappoint you. I have made this man for you, and I will give you to him on your wedding day. Trust me and hold tightly to my promises."

Isaiah 41:10 lingered across my mind: "Fear thou not; for I am with thee; be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

As my tears subsided and my heartbeat slowed, a blanket of hope spread over me. I knew God was for me, and I could rest in the fact He had seen my heartache.

One month later we arrived in Florida and scoped out a tiny, secluded beach where we could hold the ceremony. We had tried to take out any need for an aisle, and though I was incredibly excited, I begged God to protect my heart from the pain of not having my dad involved.

The next day, I stepped out of the car in my white dress and flip flops and started to make my way towards the sand where my groom was waiting. I hadn't noticed it the day before, but a long boardwalk stood between the parking lot and the beach. My heart was racing with anticipation and I stepped onto the wood paneling. Suddenly, the quiet voice came back. "Do you feel me here with you? This is your aisle, and I am walking with you, just as I promised. I am proud of you, and I will give you the strength to be the wife you need to be." My pace slowed, and my head dipped in awe. Jesus had kept His promises in such an intimately flawless way. Even when I tried to guard my own heart, He stepped in, took my hand, and spoke the words I desperately longed to hear. 

Jim and I stood barefoot, facing each other in front of a few witnesses. We exchanged vows and publicly praised God for the blessings we had found in each other. We danced in the shadows of the fading sun, and as the brilliance of the sunset panned across my husband's face, I realized more had changed that day than I thought. 

It wasn't just about the wedding, or the fact I had been joined to the man of my dreams. God had held my hand through it all. He had walked me through the disappointment and pain, and had replaced my shattered hope with a heart full of joy. Psalm 23:2-3 says, "He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake." That day, He led me down to the water's edge and restored my soul. He meticulously stitched my heart into the framework of the man who took my hand from His own, and showed me He would strengthen me, heal me and uphold me, because He was always with me.

Unfortunately today, the pattern of absent fathers is not a dwindling issue. In fact, I am afraid that more and more precious brides will be faced with the same dilemma I was. If another man is not available to walk with you on your special day; a man whom you know, trust, and has adequate stand-in qualities, pray about it and ask God for His help. Although not having my father involved was difficult and painful, I wouldn't have changed the outcome for the world. It is true that no one can take the place of our earthly dads better than an all-loving, all-encouraging, and all-healing Heavenly Father.

Kara is a freelance writer living in Boise, Idaho. She is a mentor for high school and college aged girls, and she and her husband both share a passion for singles ministry. She is a writing student in the Jerry B. Jenkins Christian Writers Guild, and her articles have appeared on Michael Smalley's Crashintolove website, The Lookout, Treasure Valley Christian News, and Gobigtoday.com.

I must admit that when I received this manuscript in the mail and read the title, I was more than slightly mortified. I have never considered myself a "fashionista," and my general feeling about shopping and clothes is usually one of keen disinterest. Don't get me wrong—I know how to dress myself. But the thought of getting together with my "BFF's" to go on a shopping spree sends me running for the hills. As a Christian woman, I have more important and earth-shattering things to worry about—like evangelizing the lost, serving the poor, and reading enough theological books to keep my mind full of new and revolutionary ideas. So a book on Christian fashion, seriously? Isn't that the realm of the utterly worldly? Not to mention, Christian modesty, especially in women, is quite the touchy subject—I'm pretty sure wars have been waged over this. But I forged ahead.

Braendel approaches the reader as a sincerely honest best friend—she loves you enough to tell you the truth, even if it hurts a little.  As I read the various chapters on body type, color, and accessorizing, I found myself getting drawn in against my own better judgment. I realized that even I could use some of this advice. The tips and tricks in the book touch on some very sacred ground for women—body image, self-esteem, and modesty. As Braendel revealed some methods to the madness, I slowly began to see fashion and clothing as more than an emotionally charged free-for-all.

Braendel covers all of the basic issues, including choosing the proper undergarments, swimwear, and even skin and hair care. I especially appreciated the chapter on purchasing jeans, as this seems to be a more pronounced problem for women. The most valuable resource is the shopping checklist in the final chapter that helps you plan out the pieces you need, and take an inventory of your wardrobe. This appealed to my Type A personality, and gave me a manageable project to work with after finishing the book. The only thing that isn't addressed is where to score the cash to afford all of these new items. Unfortunately for many women, lack of knowledge isn't the only thing keeping them from dressing to the nines every day—lack of income is a major culprit as well.

This book made me want to stash some money away, however, for that well-thought out shopping trip that could save me from hundreds of silly impulse purchases and countless hours of standing bewildered and lost in my own closet. The last chapter is a short anecdotal prescription for how to help younger women dress with more modesty, coming back to the tried and true "don't cause your brother to stumble" mantra. This book fulfills it's purpose—helping women to better understand that what they wear does make a statement, and steering them to make the right one.

As ridiculous as this line of thinking was, what came next was even crazier. While contemplating the inevitably fatal influenza (which I did not yet have), I realized that if someone came to take me to the hospital, that person would see my apartment. I'd been meaning to clean it for days, but sometimes I'm lazy. It hadn't seemed important until I realized someone was actually going to see my mess. So, the housecleaning, which this morning seemed unimportant, jumped to the top of my priority list. I felt terrible. I had a low-grade fever, a headache, and I was exhausted, and I decided that the most important thing to do was clean. So, I cleaned house just as fast as I could before the fever got worse and I was forced to rush to the hospital for the flu I didn't yet have. Sometimes, I'm ridiculous.

While scrubbing down the bathroom sink I began to wonder, does this insanity extend to my spiritual life as well? Do I feverishly attempt to clean up for God? I know I need to spend more time in prayer with the Father, but I don't feel prepared enough. First I have to do all my spiritual chores: read my bible, go to church, volunteer for the homeless, etc. As if I could make my spirit a sparkling abode for God to visit. I know it isn't about works. I learned that in Sunday School. Maybe it's that first-born child syndrome which makes me feel I have to do everything exactly right, or that my worth is rolled up in how well I do things. That thought is dangerous enough, but when extended to Christianity, it approaches the heretical.

The Holy Spirit isn't like a friend who occasionally visits. If I am a Christian, then He lives within me. He knows what the place looked like before I cleaned up and He loves me anyway. Paul pronounces this in Romans 5:1-6, when he explains our faith should give us peace in the presence of God and comfort in hard times. Then he reminds us Christ died for us while we were still sinners. He didn't die for me after I cleaned my spiritual life.

It is important to live right for God because faith without works is dead (James 2:26). The problem is when the focus drifts away from the Father and on to how good I can be for Him. The difference is subtle, but vital. I've been placing the focus on me and what I can do for Him, but the truth is that I can't do anything for Him without Him. Without the Holy Spirit, I'll never scrape the grime off of my heart, and all that time spent trying could have been better spent relaxing in the presence of the Father.

Jacquelyn Spruill has a BA in English from Trevecca Nazarene University. She is the Circulation Supervisor for Trevecca's Waggoner Library.

Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating a little. But since I graduated college I have yet to use my Business degree and over the past year have really begun to wonder why I even went to college. I know I didn't spend all that money to be stuck working a job geared towards high schoolers!

Perhaps you're feeling the same way. You worked hard in college to earn the degree you thought would secure you a career only to find yourself working in a dead-end, minimum wage job that barely, if at all, pays the bills.

But guess what? God is still there with you as you make your way through this valley. He knows your concerns, your frustrations, and your confusion. And He wants to help! You just have to completely surrender everything to Him. Every single doubt, insecurity, and fear. And while things may continue to get difficult, it will be easier to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you let Him take over.

I graduated from a private Christian college in 2007 with my B.S in Business Administration. I was so excited to be out in the real world. It was finally my time to shine, to make a name for myself, to prove to my friends and family that I could make my own life.

I remained in Nashville after graduating, moving in with friends. Even though I was working at Office Depot, I knew that I would eventually find my dream job. It just took time. I told myself that I just needed to be patient. As long as I kept putting my resume in at several places, eventually God would open up a door to a great career opportunity.

My dream job was out there. I just knew it. However, patience has never been one of my strong suits (and I doubt it ever will be), so after only a couple months I was getting frustrated.

I chose to stay in Nashville because I thought that was where God wanted me. But when one problem after another continued to plague me the entire year and a half that I was there, I knew something needed to change. Roommate troubles. Health problems. Inability to find a good job. One after another, these problems just would not ease up.

Where was my career? Where was that great job I was supposed to have?

I decided to take a trip home to Virginia to figure out what it was God wanted me to do. And would you believe it? It was Homecoming at our church. Homecoming. Immediately I knew God was trying to tell me something. It was as if He was saying, "Daughter, you were supposed to be here all along. You need to come home."

So when I returned to Nashville, I knew I was doing the right thing to leave. A few weeks later, I packed as much as I could into my little red Honda and drove the 700+ miles home to Norfolk, VA.

Of course, I wasn't foolish enough to believe that my problems would go away once I had changed locations. Of course not. They were still there. I had my moments where I would cry myself to sleep because I missed Nashville. I was so ashamed to tell people that I had to move back in with my mother. I was a 25-year-old college graduate. I was supposed to be on my own, working for a major company, enjoying what life after college had to offer me.

For a couple months, I was angry. All my friends were married, some expecting their first child. And me? I was single, living with my mother working a meaningless, minimum-wage job.

I felt like I had all the reason in the world to be angry. Why in the world was God allowing this? How was this a part of His great plan for me? I had to cut back on so many things that I sometimes felt ashamed. I couldn't go out with friends that often. I felt isolated, confused, hurt. Where was God through all of this?

Then something wonderful happened. One night in June, I surrendered to God. I broke down, gave Him all of me. I just couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of trying to make a name for myself without consulting God first. Without Him, I was going to continue to feel this way, hopeless and ready to give up completely.

I began to read Jeremiah 29:11 in a different light. God does have a plan for me, but I have to let Him work in my life.
Sure, I'm still confused as to why I'm still stuck in this frustrating, migraine-causing job, but if this is a part of God's plan for my life, then by all means, let me go to work!

It's not going to be easy and I'm okay with that now. Now that my attitude towards life has changed, I can finally let God use me the way He's been trying to all along!

Leigh Stone is from Norfolk, VA.

And so I watched...

My mother is one of the most patient and loving people I know. She is kind to her core and loves without reason. She taught me what it means to be a woman, how to love, nurture, help, and appreciate. My father is one of the strongest and most hardworking men I know. He is tough and determined, but compassionate as well. It was he who taught me my worth as woman, that I should have expectations and goals, that I should settle for nothing but the best and if I wanted something, to go get it.

My parents, unlike the majority of first-time married couples today, are not divorced. They met at a young age in high school and were married before graduating; they are still together 21 years later. They worked through many rough patches throughout the years, struggling as newlyweds and young parents raising three children. They were pushed past their limits and dug their way out of trouble just like everybody else.

However, there were a few times during the "rough patches" that I was sure the rocky boat that was their marriage would tip and sink, tearing into the perfectly beautiful and untouchable realm of my childhood, which I shared with my younger brother and sister. And it was also during these times of adversity that I learned the most from my parents, because instead of throwing in the towel and calling it quits, they dumped their heartache and fears at the feet of the Father. My parents' marriage was by no means perfect, but it was something that I admired them for and wanted for myself one day.

It's hard to image myself with 2 children at the age of 20 (my current age, and an impossibility in my mind), but that's exactly what life was like for my parents. And although I admit my immaturity as a young adult and recognize how unprepared I am for this stage in my life, I find myself with a desire for what they shared, and still share to this day. I long for love and companionship and a family, but most of all I long for God to work in my marriage the way He did with my mom and dad. I want the shared responsibility and camaraderie of serving the Lord and making a difference for the kingdom together.

Seeing the devotion and dedication my parents put into their marriage sobered me quickly as a teenager when it came to dating, and therefore I removed myself from the dating scene. I waited patiently, promising that I would only allow myself to date when I started college, to ensure a more mature level and clearer view of what it meant to "date." But all the while I would find myself getting lonely, so this is when I decided to start writing letters to my future husband. Each time I write a letter, I pray to God first, asking Him to give me a reflective attitude and open heart like my parents so that one day I can give my letters to the man I haven't met.

Courtney Moore is a 20 year old Pensacola, Florida native seeking God's will as a Teacher Education major and is a sophomore at the Free Will Baptist Bible College.

Beneficial Fear

Although fear is generally an unwelcome guest, there is a healthy fear that keeps us—at least most of us—from passing certain boundaries in life. Why? Because they involve consequences that just aren't worth risking. When I drive down the road, that yellow strip of paint that runs down the center keeps me from hogging both lanes. The fear of being hit by oncoming traffic is a good fear that keeps me safely on my side of the road. In this case, fear is somewhat of a road block (no pun intended) that keeps me from possible danger. More often, however, it prevents any action, good or bad.

Debilitating Fear

Fear is an unwelcome visitor that attempts to paralyze its victim at his or her most vulnerable moments. It often attacks our minds with a bunch of "what if" scenarios. What if I fail? What if I never get married? What if I don't pass this test? What if something bad happens to me? What if, what if, what if?! We could list a million "what if" scenarios that have run through our minds in just the past day, and if we dwell on them long enough, we may actually believe they are destined to happen.

Fear is definitely a deception. It doesn't have any real power behind it other than the feeling it triggers inside. It causes us to believe something that generally is not true and never will be. It ruffles our feathers and stirs the pot with only a thought. The more we dwell on the "what if," the stronger fear's grip on us becomes until we yield under the power of it and become its slave. What may be a fleeting thought to begin with can easily become an enormous dilemma when we allow fear to toy with our thoughts.

Dealing With Fear

Despite my struggle to keep the unhealthy fear at bay, I often fail miserably. I wish I could just make my fears magically disappear and never deal with them again. But that would be too easy, and I wouldn't learn anything about trusting God along the way. When I was a child, I had a small wooden plaque that hung on my bedroom wall which read, "At times that I'm afraid, I will trust in God." At night, while lying alone in the quiet darkness of my bedroom, when fear often gripped me, I found great comfort in that short phrase.

In Isaiah we read, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee" (26:3, KJV). After being reminded of this passage, I know that it's God's will for me to be at peace in my mind, and anything less would be disastrous! Now if I could only learn to keep my mind focused and my heart trusting in Him, I know the "what ifs" behind my fears will not seem so big after all. 

Naomi Cassata has been married to her husband James for 6 years. They live in Florida. She has been writing articles for about 5 years.

"If you buy this book, God will make you rich." So begins the insanity of Stuff Christians Like. And it gets only more insane and hilarious from there. This is the type of book you will either love or hate. It is caked—caked!—with sarcastic, ironic, tongue-in-cheek, over-the-top humor. The book is comprised of hundreds of short essays, some of which are so small they recall the Deep Thoughts segment of Saturday Night Live.

If biting, ironic humor irks you, I would highly advise you steer clear of this book. You'll just get confused or offended. In one essay he talks about how he doesn't know any Fundamentalists or even met any but loathes them just the same because he just knows they're so hateful and judgmental. If you are not familiar with Acuff's style of humor this may put you off at first. It doesn't take long to figure out this a prime example of Acuff's style of humor. He may or may not like Fundamentalists; that is not the point here. The point is that people in some Christian circles tend to make judgments about the judgmental nature of Fundamentalists without even being familiar with Fundamentalists.

Acuff is not totally serious very often—at least I don't think he is. Sometimes it is hard to know if he is serious about something or not. Well, right off the bat he lets us know that the majority of the book is all in pure fun. In the introduction he says in his first draft he finished every essay with a veritable altar call. After much consideration, he decided to take most of those out and just have fun. As such, this is probably not a great book to read if you just want to learn deep spiritual lessons. While the deeper subjects (mainly at the close of the book) are good, that is not Acuff's strong area. His strong area is awesome Christian comedy. Stuff Christians Like is a great book to read if you just want to laugh hard or at least smile inside. You will find yourself saying, "That is so true! That is so, so true!" Final verdict: This Christian really likes this stuff and recommends it with caution.

Not sure if you'll like the style of humor? Check out Acuff's blog at http://stuffchristianslike.net.

Ben Plunkett is an avid reader and writer from Pleasant View, Tennessee. 

I had always heard the first year of marriage was supposed to be the most difficult. The blending of two lives during that tender year was not easy, I was told; but being naive and in love, those words went in one ear and out the other. When our first year of marriage was rounding up, I thought back on how easy "the most difficult year" was for us—not anything like I was told. We enjoyed being together every second we could and conflicts were nowhere to be found. The first year, a difficult one? I couldn't make out what others were talking about. I guess our love must be stronger than most couples in their first year, I began to think.

With our first successful year tucked under our belt, we were just as eager to take on our second year with the same love and zeal as our first.

CHANGE WILL COME

I'm not sure exactly when things began to change, but not long into our second year, our perfect marriage didn't feel so perfect anymore. Valentine's Day was supposed to be the day we celebrated our love for each other. The fact that my dear husband forgot about such a special day didn't sit well with me at all. After confronting him, he sprinted to our local grocery store, and with all the thoughtfulness he could possibly muster in such a short amount of time, he brought back a tiny stuffed toy and a box of cheap chocolates—not exactly what I had in mind for a romantic evening together. Then there was the time James came home after a long day at work to find our house in total chaos with my three nieces running around like monkeys. I personally didn't see the problem; I enjoyed the noise and excitement, but by the look on his face I could see he disagreed. These weren't the only incidents that pushed our buttons. What were once small annoyances seemed to grow into big ones. Things had definitely changed. No one ever warned me about the second year of marriage, I pouted.

STAYING FAITHFUL TO YOUR COMMITMENT

Despite our share of fights, frustrations and those, yes I'm going to say it, "What was I thinking when I married this person?" occasions, we have celebrated six and a half challenging and yet still happy years of marriage together. During those moments when we let each other down or didn't meet one another's expectations, what we have learned is the importance behind the commitment we vowed to each other on our wedding day— despite how we "feel" at the moment.

Now a day it seems marriage has lost its sacredness. Sadly, it's not always guarded as precious to those that find it.

When I think back to the six weeks of pre-marital counseling we took with our pastor, I really cannot think back to one specific lesson that encouraged us to get through the tough times we have faced. I heard a little about finances, a bit more about sex and a whole lot about future goals. The not-so-pleasant areas of marriage were never touched upon, and obviously any advice on getting through them was nowhere to be found.

In our society, we have unfortunately come to believe that when we are upset, disappointed, or let down by our partner, it's time to call it quits. Momentary unhappiness has become grounds for divorce for many couples. Working through conflicts isn't worth it anymore, so finding "their own happiness" apart from their spouse then becomes the focus. Our marriage vows, which are meant to be an unconditional "promise, oath, declaration" to both our spouse and God, become pearls cast before swine.

No one said marriage would be easy. In fact, marriage is pretty hard at times. It's during the difficult times that we have a decision to make. Will we grow apart? Or will we grow closer to each other? We are told that love "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7, NKJV). Love for our spouse should be enduring. Our actions, during the hard times, are a reflection of the depths of our love for our spouse as well as our commitment to God's Word. Our goal, as a couple, should be to get through all the difficulties we face—no matter the cost!

Marriage has been twisted, complicated, and devalued through the ages. In the face of a generation that fails to recognize God's value on marriage, we can easily miss it ourselves. Marriage was orchestrated—by our Creator—long ago to be a beautiful, lifelong commitment between a man and a woman for the purpose of companionship as well as a means for sexual expression.

The purpose of marriage is not for the other person to make you feel "wonderful" at all times, yet more importantly, it's about giving respect, love, and commitment to the one we chose to spend all the days of our life with.

Naomi Cassata has been married to her husband James for 6 years. They live in Florida. She has been writing articles for about 5 years.

Jacob: You've been at this for 14 years. You've put out nine albums. How has the industry changed since the early days of 1996-1998?

Bebo: Oh wow. Man it has changed a whole lot. Not just on my personal landscape but on just the music landscape in general. Obviously it changes stylistically because people's tastes change as they grow. My musical tastes have changed too.

Jacob: iTunes has really changed the way people buy music.

Bebo: Right.

Jacob: How is your mentality different in writing since customers can pick and choose what songs they like or don't like instead of buying an entire album? Is the art of writing an album gone?

Bebo: That's a great question. And if it is, which part of me believes it may be on a wavered slide, even if it's not already gone, it makes me sad. I value in a dramatic way the art of writing an album. Certainly a song is what first captures you, but it's like one chapter in a book. You can have a really great chapter in a book that's moving but until you hear the whole story I feel like you're missing out on something. That's the way I feel about music and the way I feel about making records. I don't think it's gone entirely. I think that definitely on a mass level—and the truth is, maybe this hasn't changed that much except for the fact that songs are most accessible. Although you can buy songs individually on iTunes, people have always been drawn to "the song." When I was in elementary school, we listened to the Top 40 on the radio. You heard "the song" and you just had to buy the whole record in order to get "the song." You know? But when I started really falling in love with music is when I started really falling in love with entire records and realizing there could be a journey in a record and an entire story being told in a record. So, for me as a fan of music, that's what I enjoy and love the most. But I'm as guilty as anybody, if you can use that word, of sometimes just loving one song and not necessarily always needing to have the whole album and the whole record. So, long answer short, I don't think the art of writing a record is gone but I do think it is very different now than it used to be and I think there's a much smaller minority that really still looks at it that way, especially in the context of the business side of music. You know, I think labels very much look at records as not a collection of songs anymore but a collection of two or three singles that have a group of songs built around them. That's not the way I see it but I may well be in the minority. I don't know that I'm in the minority of real music fans but I think I am in the minority in terms of the mass that listens to music. 

Jacob: Along those same lines, the way that we communicate now is so different than it was back five, 10 years ago, and so it's kind of encouraging for, like, a small band who does a unique sound but it doesn't sound like Leeland so there's no label out there that's going to be signing them any time soon. But you know, they've got the software on their Mac and they can record themselves and then they can put it on their Facebook page and everybody can listen to it. How do you think that changes the music industry?

Bebo: The music industry has changed so dramatically in the years that - I mean, when I first started playing music there were, I didn't even have a cell phone. I didn't even have a pager. You know? Like when we - this is going to sound crazy - but when I was touring back then, you know, if I went out with a runner to go run an errand or somebody dropped me off at a mall to, you know, just go buy basic needs that, you know, because I'd been out on the road for a few months at a time, I had to go to a pay phone to call my road manager at a land line in an office in a theatre that we might be playing in and hope that they happened to be there. You know, that's kind of how dramatically things change. And then I was way on the cutting edge when I got a pager and I could actually page somebody.

You were really on the cutting edge when you could actually do the text page where you called somebody and told them what you wanted and they typed it in and they sent it to somebody's pager. You know what I mean? Like - it was a crazy - like an operator, that's who did it. All that to say that in and of itself it's changed - technology has come a long way in really just about a decade and a half. I mean, it's pretty amazing how quickly it's changed. The way that I see that it's changed, I think you're right. I think that it has changed for the better in a lot of ways, to me, especially for bands who may be smaller and don't have quite the audience or the stage necessarily that some of the larger bands have, but I think one of the main ways that's changed, I mean, it seems for me, is that when I first started playing music, I mean, I was one of the few Christian acts that really toured nonstop. You know, not because I thought, "Wow, this is a good marketing strategy," but because that's all I knew. You know, I thought, "Well, I've got an independent record," it was 1996, "How are people going to hear this if I don't get out and play songs for people?"

Jacob: Right.

Bebo: You know what I mean? And so I spent 250 days a year on a road for the first seven or eight years of playing music.

Jacob: Oh wow.

Bebo: As a single guy in my twenties, that was a blast and it was fun. The thing is, now it kind of seems to me that markets, every market that you go to, is inundated with people that are touring, and everybody is out - I mean, back in the day me and people like Jars of Clay and Caedmon's Call and random independent bands from back then were the only people that really - we were all playing - just come out of college, so we were all touring and playing music and that's kind of what we did, and it was kind of nonstop.  There were definitely Christian concert tours back then but they were kind of small - not small, but they were very segmented. Just, you know, they would do 20, 30 cities in the spring and 20, 30 cities in the fall and that was kind of it for them and, anyway, long and short is that I feel like everybody tours now, everybody plays music. I feel like people are, consumers are - and I use that word loosely, consumers. I mean, fans are almost over-saturated with music at this point, you know, because it's accessible on every level, so sometimes that can be a little bit difficult, and truth be told, I don't want to spend quite as much time on the road as I used to as a 36-year-old who has a wife and two kids at home. You know, I certainly love being home as much as I can be. So, for me personally, I love the idea that it has offered me a new avenue to connect with an audience without having to be before them in person, you know, and that's what things like iTunes and Facebook and, you know, the avenues online and what technology has sort of afforded us. So, all that - a very, very long answer.  Obviously you can weed out most of it, but the bottom line is that I think the opportunities are amazing in terms of being able to connect with people because of technology but it also means that people are, I mean, listeners are really over-saturated with music, to me at this point, and so things can all start to sound the same so I think it requires you being, having a very unique platform to really connect with people at this point on a musical level. So I think it's important to be true to what you do and really kind of be unique, if that makes any sense, more than ever. 

Be sure to check out Bebo's music on his website http://bebonorman.com or on iTunes (of course).

Jacob Riggs is editor of The Brink magazine. http://twitter.com/jacobriggs

Political rhetoric in the media is drenched with feigned optimism, bloated clichés, and false promises of a future utopia—"If you'll only vote for me . . ." Both conservatives and liberals demonize the other, promoting their own ideals and policies as the obvious choice. If you're searching for humility, contemporary politics is not the place to look. Arrogance is rampant despite the fact our country is confronted with challenges that aren't nearly as clear-cut as politicians claim.

Most troubling, perhaps, is the number of politicians who either claim to espouse traditional Christian values or even profess faith in Christ. Both leading candidates in the 2008 election played this card. Another thing they held in common, ironically, was the tone of their campaign ads and biting speeches. While political policies differ, the way a candidate's ideas are conveyed is quite similar. Their claims are proudly asserted, not submitted for public scrutiny. Some Christian candidates act as though their policies are obviously superior because of their conservative credentials. 

This runs contrary to Christian humility, which is essential to a believer's life both privately and in the public arena. More than anyone else, Christians have theological grounds for true humility: we were once alienated from the life that is in Christ. Yet God in His mercy—through the work of Christ and the power of the Spirit—has called us to Himself. Therefore, Christian citizens no longer have the luxury of pointing fingers of blame across the aisle!

In contrast, the truth of the Gospel is the one thing that promotes a sense of humility that clings to the truth and presents it in a humble way. The Christian knows that "except for the grace of God, there go I." In other words, Christians have to be Gospel-driven in their approach to political engagement if their message (policy birthed out of a Christian worldview) is going to penetrate the minds of those they are trying to persuade.

It's incredible to read Paul's defense of his apostolic authority and ministry in 2 Corinthians. He was bold and tenacious, yet his words were deferential to his readers. He did not appeal to eloquent speech or cunning tactics. He didn't even appeal to the innovative methods that "Barnabas and the gang" had concocted after they returned from a church growth conference. Instead, he pointed to two things: (1) the work of Christ and (2) the authority given by Christ to minister in His name. What is the lesson for us? One must know to whom he belongs and in whose name he ministers if his politics are to be humble.

This view transforms the way Christians approach politics. We need not flee voting booths. In fact, we are specifically called to a proper relationship with our governing authorities (Mark 12:17; Romans 13; 1 Peter 2:13-17). However, it is with a demeanor of humble submission and civility that we voice the truth. The fact that Christ humbled Himself to the point of death is our example. Peter goes to great pains in the second chapter of First Peter to remind us that Christ, though innocent, suffered for us. He did not revile His tormentors though He was mocked. If this is true, how much more ought Christians conform to the way of Jesus in their speech and in the political sphere?

The humility of Christ provokes the believer to submit his own arguments, ideas, and opinions to the same reasonable scrutiny he imposes on the policies of those with whom he disagrees. When we evaluate policy, we should not immediately reject the proposal simply because it comes from a liberal. This is logical fallacy. Good ideas are good ideas no matter where they originate. The question is whether the policy conforms to the Christian worldview. Does it promote the wellbeing of society, as God understands goodness? These are the thoughtful questions believers must begin to ask in their political engagement.

I gave up my political ambitions years ago. I didn't do this because I thought being a congressman was unspiritual. Sadly, many Christians who resist a career in politics do so because they've been told Christianity and politics don't mix. But Scripture and the witness of church history do not support this myth.

At the same time, many believers have gone to the other extreme, plunging themselves into the fray of public conversation with the same Christ-less, prideful rhetoric as those they hope to convert. If salvation is by grace, there's no room for boasting. In the end, the politics of Jesus don't parade through the streets riding on the back of a donkey or elephant. He comes instead as a lamb that was slain.

William Jackson Watts is Associate Pastor at Tippett's Chapel Free Will Baptist Church in NC, where he is also studying to complete his M.Div. at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. 

Most soon-to-be's get lots of advice from many different people. There's the pre-marital stuff that tries to get the nuts and bolts of relationships. Then you get the surly, salty "advice" about how relationships "really work" from the couple who've been married for twenty years...somehow. On the wedding day, the preacher usually tries to make sure the couple knows marriages are "hard work." Then you get a bit of intoxicated sagely advice from the best man at the reception.
And yet, for all the wise counsel, it is inevitable that newlyweds will still find surprises. So today, I'm busting four big marriage myths. You, or your kids, or your best friend need to hear this before walking down the aisle. Maybe we should've made counseling a priority. You decide...

Four Huge Marriage Myths

Myth #1: Slumber Parties

Many newlyweds, intoxicated by delirious visions of romantic comedies and mattress commercials, eagerly run to bed like two children in their PJs on the night before Christmas, to blissfully fall into each others' arms and drift away to sleep, cradled in gentle embrace . . . only to find out that this is one of the biggest lies the world has told them. Sleeping isn't a team sport.

Sleeping is an activity best done alone. This will come as a terrible shock to many young newlyweds. They will attempt to defy the laws of nature and contort themselves in unnatural ways into some comfortable position in which to sleep right next to one another. Of course, if they are successful at actually falling asleep, they will awaken to the feeling that their limbs have been forcibly removed due the lack of blood circulation. Thus, they will feel betrayed and insecure about their prowess in bed.

This myth needs to be brought out in pre-marital counseling. Fiances need to understand that they are not marrying new pillows. They are marrying people made of arms and elbows and other sharp points, which produce intolerable amounts of heat, and are heavily insulated under piles of blankets.
If you want to snuggle with something cuddly, try a bag of power tools.

Myth #2: Gang Showers
Around Christmas, my wife and I were gathered with three other couples, married four years (us), three years, one year, and six months. We're all longtime friends. All of a sudden, one of the girls poses a question for the rest of us to consider:
"Does anyone really take showers together?"
There was a hint of disappointment in her voice. The rest of us thought a moment. I spoke up and said, "No. It doesn't work."
Everyone, relieved that someone else had spoken up first, agreed. Somehow, probably through Herbal Essence commercials, we had all gotten it into our newlywed heads that this would be just a terrific idea. (I think this is one of those things that is tame enough for the Christian marriage books to suggest.) And for everyone, it was epic fail. And then, everyone seemed to think that they were alone in their shame. The idea that two adults will be able to share a shower is a terrible myth that fiances need to come to grips with.
Here's why: Guys, it is in a woman's low-temperature nature to hog all the hot water and not leave any for you. Sharing baths is likely an activity you last did with a sibling when you were in kindergarten. It's best that way.

Myth #3: "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" is a Good Movie
This should be self-evident, but apparently, it needs to be said.

Myth #4: Best Day Ever
Most eager fiances are certain that their wedding day will be the "best day ever." That's why people spend tons of Dad's cash and stuff themselves into uncomfortable dresses and dance their butts off: because it's the "best day ever," and you've never been more in love than on this day! Yeah! That's pretty much the premise of shows like Bridezillas: girls who are convinced that their "best day ever" is being ruined. But then, they aren't interested in being married, they're interested in having a wedding.

Sure, weddings are great. But if your wedding day is the best day of your marriage, then you have nothing to look forward to.

My wife and I were really blessed by something one of her friends wrote to us. She said, "May your wedding day be the day you love each other the least." It took a bit for that to sink in for us.

When I look at two geriatrics in a nursing home, hunched over on walkers together, who've been married for 80 years, I am convinced that I don't know one blasted thing about love.

Matt is a teacher and pastor in Kansas City, MO. He is also the co-founder of SaveAfrica.com, a missionary endeavor in Sudan. He blogs at TheChurchofNoPeople.com, and lives with his wife, Cheri.

Copyright 2010 Matt Appling. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

So what does the Bible say about our rights?

First, as children of God we are called to be set apart, different from the rest. Peter said Christians are a chosen generation, royal, holy, and "peculiar." Why? So we may tell the world about Him who called us out of darkness into His light (1 Peter 2:9).

OK, we are supposed to stand out, and we know why, but how?

Peter goes on to say our conduct should be honorable amongst those who are unsaved, so that when someone talks bad about us, our reputation will be known as honest and reputable. In turn, they will glorify God because of our good conduct (1 Peter 2:12). Good deeds—check. Honorable lifestyle—check. Anything else?

"Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake" (1 Peter 2:13). Every ordinance? Every institution? What if I don't agree with their policies or the philosophy they espouse? What if it's just one of those silly rules? Peter continues by saying it is God's will for Christians to do good and in turn put the ignorance of foolish people to silence (1 Peter 2:15-16). Well, I guess that's doable. At least it says we still have our freedom. Submit to anyone in authority—check.

Still, what if it's unjust? Surely God doesn't want us to give up our rights and put up with unfairness? That's just wrong! Right?

Wrong. Peter says to obey your masters even if they are unjust (1 Peter 2:18-20).

Whoa. Let that sink in a bit. Even when they are unjust. So we're supposed to suffer personal injustice quietly without making a big deal out of it? Really? What does that even look like?

"For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously: Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed" (1 Peter 2:21-24; KJV).

Jesus suffered agony unjustly, for us. He is our example. He didn't revile or threaten, no. He simply entrusted Himself to the Father, knowing God is a just Judge.

This sounds like more than just suffering for our faith. It really goes against the grain of our culture. Is it possible that we're asked to trade our entitlement to rights for a Christ-like meekness and humility? After all, we are a "people for His own possession" called to follow His example as we point others to Him. A selfless, humble servant's heart would definitely set us apart from the rest . . .

With this in mind, consider the following scenarios. Compare your gut reaction to Peter's comments above. What Christ-like reaction sets you apart?

Scenario 1

You're standing in a long line at the airport waiting to check in, when a Hispanic man cuts line and proceeds to take FOREVER to get his things in order because he can't understand, thus making you late for your flight.

Scenario 2

You're overdue a pay-raise, and you've put in extra effort hoping your boss takes notice. You deserve the increase, but some upstart who transferred in six months ago is the one who gets it.

Scenario 3

You're out on a special date to a place that's normally out of your price range. The service is extremely slow, your food is not to order, and the waitress gets testy with your simple requests. When your check comes, the pricey tip is already calculated in.

As followers of Jesus Christ, we have the right to serve, the right to put others before ourselves, the right to remain silent and suffer patiently, the right to make personal sacrifices, and the right to have abundant life in Him. May we be ever mindful of those rights, and may we use them to the glory of God.

Rachel Donahue is a missionary with her husband Mick and son to Spain.

Deal Gone Bad

Aside from Tim's rather nondescript California ministry job, he put his business degree to work on the side, buying houses, fixing them up and reselling them for a handsome profit. In fact, he felt like business was the direction God had for his life until he heard the call to go into the ministry seven years prior. Yet it was a business deal gone bad that sparked the most life-changing week in Tim's life.

In the midst of wheeling and dealing, a friend recommended Tim buy an investment property in downtown Oklahoma City, site unseen. He convinced Tim that there was a substantial profit to be made from flipping this apartment complex. That was when the trouble began.

The owners of the apartment units and the property manager managed to present the apartment as a thriving area, one that showed great promise. But looks were more than deceiving. In reality, the apartment complex was home to some of the most down-and-out people in the city, not to mention a base for drug lords and every other imaginable kind of evil enterprise.

It wasn't long before Tim realized he was caught up in the middle of a con game and stuck with a building that was losing him anywhere from $5,000 to $10,000 a month for a period of time.

"I was just dying inside," Tim tells The Brink. "All I could say is 'Jesus', and I could say that a hundred times a minute. I was crying myself to sleep at night. But I remember the week before I finally went to Oklahoma City to try and sell the building and get rid of it once and for all that I got on my face before God.  I said, 'I'll do whatever You want, however You want, whenever You want. I'm surrendered. Whatever that means.' Then the first thing He called me to do was give $500 to somebody—and I had lost significant amounts of money. But I did it, yet I was like, 'Are you sure Lord?' Then the same day that same lady I sent money to ended up sending us $400. I was wondering if I had missed His voice. Then the Lord started to show me what obedience looked like. That's when the Lord really started messing my life up. "

Acts Come Alive

Tim's plan to rid himself of this burdensome building was to fly to Oklahoma City, fix up the building and sell it. At this point, he was beyond caring about making a profit—he was more concerned with plugging the gaping cash leak. So Tim began fasting prior to his trip.

"I was trying to pull a wild card with my fasting, like, 'Lord, help me. Take this problem off my hands. Send a tornado through this building or burn it down with fire. Just take it away from me'," Tim said. "I thought I was off and I had totally messed up God's will for my life.

Still unaware of the real activity taking place within his building, Tim was horrified to discover the truth once he arrived. "Drugs, gangs, prostitution—it was a buffet table of evil," Tim said. "If evil could walk through the streets, it was walking down the ones near this building and getting whatever it wanted. Yet in spite of my fear, God began giving me an insane amount of boldness once we arrived."

What Tim thought was going to be a week of redeeming a rundown building turned into a different kind of redemptive mission—one that involved broken people who were in desperate need of God's love, grace and truth.

Two days into his extreme makeover project, Tim was perched on a ladder inside the building, painting when a 6-foot-4, 250-pound man walked near him. Trying to be polite, Tim asked him how he was doing.

"He just looked up at me and said, 'I'm tired,'" Tim recalls. "And as cheesy as it sounds, I just said, 'I know the one who brings rest.' Then within a few minutes, he starts weeping and repenting. Then the Lord showed me some things about this guy's life that I shared with him, and he was like, 'What is going on? I heard about you.'

"There was just this release and repentance. These were small indicators that God was up to something."

One afternoon, Tim and his friend ventured into a dark room near the roof's building and watched about 30 gang members bolt out the back door when they walked in. "We joked about how darkness would flee when exposed to the light," Tim said. "But it really was a visual picture of what was happening. God was at work in a big way."

Then God began to speak to Tim in a way that forever reshaped his journey.

"When I woke up one night after reading Zechariah 7, God asked me, 'Are you fasting for me or for you?' I was hoping that fasting was the wild card of God to deliver me, so it was clear I was fasting for me and not for Him," Tim said. "He began to show me that it wasn't about me—it was about him. He said he would rather have me obey than sacrifice. At that point, when I heard Him say, 'Obedience,' I knew I was supposed to move out here and become a part of this. "

By week's end, Tim knew that this wasn't a one-week fixer-upper in Oklahoma City, but the beginning of a much longer process of redeeming a building and neighborhood for Christ. "That week I had a hundred divine appointments and watched the word of God become more real than I had ever seen in my life. I think God still wants the book of Acts to be written today."

Radical Obedience

When Tim returned home, he walked into his church office and resigned, not knowing the full plan but knowing it involved him doing ministry out of this building, what eventually became known as The Refuge.

"Many people thought I was crazy," Tim says with a pause, before adding, "I thought I was crazy! And even a month after I moved out here, I asked my wife if she thought I was crazy. I didn't have the full vision for what I was to be doing, but I knew the Lord was teaching me to trust Him. The vision would come later. I wanted vision because I wanted to know where I was headed."

Despite shutting down the criminal activity inside the building, Tim was still wondering just what his purpose was after six months.

"Nothing was really happening, and I was scared all the time," Tim said. "Whenever I would get within a couple of miles of the building, this heavy oppression would come over me. I would be scraping these nasty crack-infested floors and look out at like the city and tell the Lord that I was in the wrong building. I was supposed to be in one of those skyscrapers doing business. It didn't make one bit of sense."

But things quickly began to change. Tim befriended two generals—Homicide and Tango—from a local gang and began meeting and praying with them regularly. "These guys started going throughout the building and asking if they could repent for their sins in each of the rooms where they sinned," Tim said.

One day later, a church shows up and says they heard about what I was doing and wanted to help fix up the building. Before too long, Tim was partnering with other local ministries and throwing a block party. Then more churches began hearing about what happening The Refuge and wanted to help.

Now, The Refuge is a growing ministry that is trying to model the love of Christ to a group of people who are downtrodden and often marginalized by society.

"A lot of what we're doing on a daily basis is trying to be an example of selfless people serving the selfish," Tim said. "The selfishness that they're in is their idol is themselves. They are the temples lying in waste. The reason why is they are full of idols—they're full of themselves. They're living in their image, rather than the image of God. What we're trying to do as believers to do is be the light and expose darkness just as Christ came to serve.

"We're trying to pursue what it looks like to love God and love our neighbors. Our neighbors are crack dealers, business owners, prostitutes, gang members. And we've decided to focus on giving them spiritual food. We're trying to transform that area by picking up trash, mowing lawns without people knowing it. It's Isaiah 58. We're modeling to the homeless people what it means to be creative producers and workers who use their hands to be fruitful and multiply. We think that's the ticket to transforming and engaging them rather than enabling them.

"We think if we go and make disciples, we'll advance the kingdom of God. It starts on our street. And when we get our street, we're going after our neighborhood. When we get our neighborhood, we'll go after our city and then our state."

Not a bad start for a guy who just thought he was going to fix up a building.

Jason Chatraw is a freelance writer from Boise, Idaho.

First, God has the right to take life however and whenever He desires. Since God is the author of life, He can take life and give life at His whim. Life is a gift from God. Every moment we exist is a gift from our Creator (Acts 17:24-28). God is under no obligation to sustain the universe or our individual lives. Since God created the world (and everything in it) He can do with it as He desires. Humans cannot take another life because they did not create it. Since we did not give life, we have no right to take it. But since God is the giver of life, He can take it in whatever manner He chooses. It's His prerogative.

Second, God shows tremendous longsuffering and compassion before executing judgment. When God first told Abraham that his descendants would inhabit the Promised Land, God instructed him that the fulfillment would be significantly delayed until the sin of the Amorites (the people of Canaan) was complete (Genesis 15:16). Why the wait? God was allowing sufficient time for the Canaanites to repent of their evil ways. 430 years was more than enough time for the Amorites to turn to God. Moreover, God promises to spare any nation that turns to God in repentance and abandons its evil ways (Jeremiah 18:7-8). God gave them considerable time to repent, but eventually justice must prevail.

Third, Gods commands must be understood in light of His covenant with Israel. God chose Abraham to be the father of a nation through whom "all the families of the earth will be blessed" (Genesis 12:1-3). Israel was to be a holy nation, set apart from the evil and corruption of surrounding nations (Leviticus 18:30). God was preparing a nation as a vehicle for the coming Messiah, the universal savior (Ephesians 2:11-22). In direct contrast, the Canaanites were involved in witchcraft, divination, child sacrifice, and sexual perversion (Deuteronomy 18:9-11; Lev 18:1-24). Thus, they were the most serious threat to God's divine plan for Israel. Dr. Paul Copan rightly observes: "Although the biblical commands are themselves considered harsh, not carrying them out would have undermined the very theocracy and plan of salvation God had established" (That's Just Your Interpretation, Baker Books, 2005, p. 165).

When difficult challenges like this arise, it's important to remember what we know to be true about God: He is good, patient, loving, and worthy of our trust. We may not understand entirely why he called for the destruction of the Canaanites, but we can rest assured that He has a good reason.

Sean McDowell is head of the Bible department at Capistrano Valley Christian Schools where he teaches Philosophy, Theology, and Apologetics. He is the author of several books on apologetics. Visit his website at http://www.seanmcdowell.org/ . 

Those are honest questions. But what about the proverbial "other hand?"

Why is the make-out master (guy or girl) never satisfied? Why is it the one-night stand never works? If sexual freedom and sexual expression are so great, then why do feelings of emptiness, shame, and sadness often follow these sexual adventures?

Could it be we, both male and female, are as deeply wired for intimacy and connection as we are wired for sexual activity? The answer is—yes.

Thus, the problem with casual sex; it negates intimacy. The experience, whether a make-out session or intercourse, is all about personal gratification. What can I get out of this? How good can you make me feel? How well can I perform? How well can I turn you on? What can I conquer? I. Me. My. Self—ish.

On the surface, this sounds great—getting something that feels good for free, i.e. without any commitment to or investment in the other person. Yet, reality promises a much higher price tag. What's the cost?

Cha-Ching

When people participate in selfish sexual experiences, getting what they want—orgasm, endorphins, validation, etc.—with little or no concern for the other person, immediate pains are felt, such as guilt, remorse, self-hate, and even "that wasn't everything I hoped for." The ripple effect isn't pretty either. For the one-timer and the serial seductor, the nasty presence of rumor and reputation soon arrives. Maybe he or she can handle it now, like water rolling off the duck; but what about in a few months or years when he or she is looking for that job, that role in the church, or that place in the community? Will that racy reputation disappear?

Such sexual trysts also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually chip away at a person. Because every person longs for and needs intimacy (i.e. total acceptance, respect, commitment, and unconditional love), a person involved in pre- and extra-marital sex must disengage to cope with the experience and the emotions arising from selfish behavior. Repeating this behavior over and over then hinders that person's mental, emotional, and spiritual growth.

Put two-and-two together and you see how this will affect a person's future ability—whether actual or perceived—to enter into and maintain a solid, healthy romantic relationship. When wedding bells come along, it will be much more difficult to learn to be a selfless lover when that person's sexual experiences are built upon the foundation of selfish sex. (Note: The key phrase is more difficult, not impossible!)

And let's not forget the pains and struggles of raising a child with two people who are not only unwed, but don't even truly care for one another. What am I saying? That won't happen to you either.

The Ultimate Lover

The one-night stand lacks humility and selflessness. Love—whether it be in the bedroom or not—is only truly experienced when selfishness is out of the equation. The Bible tells us real love involves sacrifice, meaning you place another's well-being above your own; your actions are first for your beloved's good. Love is unconditional, offering care, acceptance, and forgiveness willingly. Love is patient, kind, humble, and unselfish (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and 1 John 3:18).

Remember Christ? He gave His body, His life for the Church (John 3:16, Romans 5:8, and Philippians 2:1-11). That act brings her security. The same is true in life. The commitment of marriage (God's arena for sexual activity) and the partners acting upon that commitment bring the best satisfaction, both in the bedroom and beyond.

In fact, God's gift of sex, His intention for sex, is to paint a picture of His love and intimacy for His people. The husband gives life; the wife receives life and gives birth to another life. Intercourse for a man symbolizes his willingness to know her—her thoughts, dreams, talents, desires, hurts, fears, all of her. Intercourse for a woman symbolizes her acceptance of him for everything he is. Union. Intimacy. Godly love. Love the way it was meant to be.

If you are settling for anything less than this, you are missing out. Casual sexual experiences cheapen and lessen the gift sex is meant to be. The minuscule pleasure of pre- and extra-marital sex pales in comparison to committed, unconditional, and selfless love. Stop wasting your heart on empty rendezvous and selfish desires. Prepare yourself for your spouse; learn to live unselfishly. Mimic Christ's love for His bride. Isn't that what you want in a mate?

Emily White Youree is a freelancer from Fort Worth. Her 10+ years' experience in publishing means she's crazy about grammar books, Scrabble, and crosswords. Thankfully, she cannot knit and has no cats.

I would venture to say many people can relate to such a story. The window pops up, or you get a message, or a comment, and wonder, "Why is that person talking to me? We're not even that close!" You guessed it. I'm talking about Facebook.

Facebook says their mission is to "give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected." Congratulations Facebook, you have accomplished your task. The moment I become someone's virtual friend, I am connected and can share anything I choose to share. It's a great tool. Photos, stories, games, information, music, and (my personal favorite) an update of what I am doing can be continually followed through the site.

The king of social networking claims it has over 250 million active users. Of those users, an estimated 120 million log onto Facebook every day. That's big. Really big. I remember when in college, I had a Facebook account and only connected with a few college friends from across the nation. Now, after it has spread, I have hundreds of friends (564 to be exact). It's not just college students anymore, as Facebook estimates that two-thirds of their users are outside of the college realm.

Face it. Everyone is on Facebook. Mothers, fathers, grandmothers, and grandfathers grace the Facebook world with their presence. It connects us together, but does it really foster true friendship?

As a point in favor of Facebook, I am thankful for the real-life friends I can keep up with on the king of social networking sites. I have friends from high school who are straightening out their lives and finding answers from God—it's a joy to keep up with them. Other friends are in other countries, enabling me to easily track their every move (but not in a stalker sort of way). There is an element of the site that does enable me to continue friendships with some I would rarely see in person.

I do have a negative (or two) against the site. It is estimated the average user has about 120 friends. I have seen some who have well over 1,000 friends. The problem with this is that people throw the word friend around like a ragdoll. "Friends" from Facebook are really just connections, acquaintances, or in some cases, people you don't know at all. The shallow use of "friend" has become a reflection of our culture.

Here's an example. When I log onto Facebook, one of the first things I find myself doing is scrolling down the page to check everyone's status. I enjoy reading spiritual updates, humorous updates, and especially frivolous stuff. I realized recently I have many "friends" whose updates I really don't care to read (be honest, you do too). My point is not that we're all big jerks, but that if we were really friends with the people we follow, then we would care what they have to say. "Friend" is an overstatement.

I'm not advocating ridding yourself of Facebook by any means. Instead, I'm advocating that we as Christians understand that the social networking world is not a valid replacement of true friendship.

The Bible speaks clearly of friendship. "A friend loveth at all times" is found in Proverbs 17:17. Proverbs 18:24 says a man who has friends has to be friendly. Proverbs 27:10 tells us friends should be cherished and not forsaken. Outside of Proverbs are many stories about deep friendship as well, such as David and Jonathan. Not to mention the relationship Christ had with His disciples.

Christ and His disciples show us great aspects of true friendship. Many times we confine Christ's ministry to a little box, but it has to be realized Christ and His disciples had a deep and common bond. They met in person and worked together. They saw many sad sights together. They rejoiced together. They ministered together.  He constantly looked out for them spiritually. The spiritual bond they had was greater than most of us might ever experience with another human being.

Simply put, Facebook is a great tool for friendship, but some might have allowed it to replace what true friendship is. True friendship is not just typing a funny message or word of encouragement. It's much deeper than that. Nothing can ever replace face-to-face contact. Nothing can beat someone's voice lifting us up. So don't get lost in substituting the two. Facebook is great, but face-to-face is unparalleled.

Ryan Akers is a youth pastor in Indiana. He raises money for Mountain Faith Mission, a Haitian mission, by running marathons. You can support him by visiting http://run4haiti.wordpress.com/

What We Learned About Relationships As Teenagers

Teen dating seems like a normal part of our adolescent years; despite the fact, it is fleeting and, most of all, lacks commitment. In youth group, I learned two things you need before entering a relationship: (1) Only date someone who is likeminded in my Christian beliefs based on 2 Corinthians 6:14 about not being "unequally yoked," and (2) Don't have sex before marriage. As long as you followed those rules, you had the makings of a God-ordained relationship, so I was taught. I'm not saying these are bad principles to live by. How can they, when they are Bible-based?

The thing that bothers me is we never heard about the heartbreak that happens after the relationship ends or dealing with the rejection that looms over us afterwards. The matter of the fact is, minus a very small percentage, the majority of teen relationships just don't last—and rightly so; they aren't meant to. Most teens go into relationships with innocent intentions. The guy or girl is cute or they like his or her personality. Having someone to eat lunch with or go to the prom with is usually the extent of the commitment. For junior high and senior high students, marriage is far from the brain.    

My best friend in high school had a boyfriend for a couple of months, whom she broke up with because she found her "true love" elsewhere. Due to immaturity on both their parts, this relationship also ended a few months later.

If I could influence the life of a young person, I wouldn't coach him or her on how to find the right guy or girl, but instead I would ask, "Are you ready to pursue godly marriage?" If they were completely honest, ninety-nine percent of the time, the answer would be an absolute "No!"

The Sole Purpose of Relationships

In my younger days, I used to think the purpose of dating was for "fun and excitement." I mean, who wants to be home every weekend, all alone, watching reruns of Full House? Not I! Consequently, this type of thinking can often be found in those that have no intentions for committing themselves to another in order to lead into marriage. Instead, dating is merely a socially entertaining (often with physical benefits) type of relationship. And the best part, there are "no strings attached." When that relationship gets dull, they quickly move on to someone who reignites all those feelings in them once again. 

Passing through my college years and upper 20s, I've seen my share of the "teen dating" mindset between couples. You've seen them, or maybe you have been a victim of them yourself. One member is generally not willing to fully commit to the other; she wants the cake, but isn't willing to pay for it. They can be compared to someone browsing the delicious delicacies at the local bakery: chocolate éclairs, jam-filled donuts, moist chocolate cake all in a row. They all look wonderful and delicious with too many to choose from. Sitting down to take a bite out of one, and then not willing to pay for it, is like the person who wants the taste, enjoyment, and satisfaction of the moment but without the commitment to pay for it. Once they finish with one item and the enjoyment is gone, they move on to the next item that will bring them enjoyment. In the end, someone's heart always ends up broken, and the glory of the relationship goes to someone other than God.

The sole purpose of entering a relationship is to lead up to marriage. If you're not ready spiritually, emotionally, or financially, you are wasting your time.

The Bible has a lot to say about love relationships, but it is geared toward marriage covenant relationships. Why? Because that's the way God intended relationships to be from the beginning—long-lasting and enduring. A mutual commitment, through marriage, is God's way of sealing a love relationship between a man and woman. Marriage relationships are meant to be lifelong commitments; therefore, throughout Scripture we are reminded of how to be faithful to that covenant. (Paul exhorts married couples in 1 Corinthians 7:10 to stay faithful to their vows; Hebrews 13:4 reminds the reader that the marriage bed is pure; and Ephesians 5:22-23 talks about husbands and wives walking in respect and love toward each other.) 

Dating multiple people for fun is a concept that is nowhere found in the Bible. In the book of Genesis, Chapter 2, we can take a peek at the first God-ordained love relationship. It gives us God's view on a man and woman coming together. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (verse 24). The point brought out here is for one man to be united with one woman and the two to become one flesh. This scripture leaves no room for seeking out multiple partners for short-term pleasure.

Seeking out short-term relationships for "our pleasure only," with no further intentions, will always end in broken promises and broken hearts, which is nothing different from our teenage days. No, marriage minded relationships aren't fool proof, and not all will end with "Happily Ever After." But when commitment is present, there is a greater chance of success in moving toward marriage.   

If you are marriage-minded material, finding someone who is mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and financially ready for marriage should be the thing to consider.

Naomi Cassata has been married to her husband James for 6 years. They live in Florida. She has been writing articles for about 5 years.

Women's and Gender Studies, which became widely recognized as an academic genre during the political turmoil of the 1970s, no longer constitutes a small and insignificant subculture. At the end of June 2007, the National Women's Studies Association will hold its 28^th annual conference with more than 1,000 expected to participate. According to the Artemis Guide to Women's Studies, more than 400 women's studies programs are offered in the United States alone with more than 700 similar programs worldwide.

After examining these statistics, it is doubtful that women's studies programs are going to decline in popularity in the future. How, then, does a Christian handle this part of academia? What are young women (and men) being taught in these courses that might challenge their faith? Should parents simply encourage their children to avoid these "liberal" classes altogether? Certainly not. If I learned anything during my time as a women's studies minor, it is this: When approached the right way, women's studies courses can actually be benefit the collegiate Christian in at least three ways:

Welcome to Reality    

First, some of the information taught in these programs is very useful, and it is information about which most Christians know little. For example, I learned a tremendous amount about eating disorders. I discovered the true prevalence and impact of domestic violence. Because of Islam's subjugation of women and girls, I learned more about the religion than I ever would have learned in church. And more important, during these classes I witnessed the passion of activists who genuinely want to save women all over the world from female circumcision, honor killings, etc.

Women's studies taught me that if the Third Wave Foundation, a philanthropic foundation led by renowned feminist Rebecca Walker, can contribute more than $750,000 to "support young women's health, education, and activism," surely I can give monthly to help missionaries reach women and their families with the love and compassion of Jesus Christ.

The Other Side of the Coin

Secondly, as a Christian, I believe abortion is the murder of an unborn child and therefore a sin. Yet how can I effectively argue the pro-life debate without fully understanding the pro-choice movement? My women's studies courses taught the pro-choice argument that all women should have total control over their bodies and, in turn, their unborn children. They support women who choose to keep their children, place their children up for adoption, or have an abortion.

In other words, the true pro-choice agenda is exactly that: pro-choice, not pro-abortion. Even the most liberal of those who believe in pro-choice rarely believe abortion should be used as a form of birth control. Through these courses, I learned how to explain logically to a woman why she should not have the choice to terminate a pregnancy (because her unborn child is a human being) rather than simply saying "Abortion is against my religion." After all, if a woman doesn't believe God exists, why avoid an abortion simply because it is a sin?

I also learned about valuable resources for women who experience unplanned pregnancies, such as Feminists for Life, a feminist organization that vehemently opposes abortion.

Crisis of Faith

Finally, women's studies programs across the United States will teach young Christians how to stand up for their faith. For example, a hallmark of the feminist movement is equality for everyone, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. Because of this, I met many people during my schooling who were gay or lesbian and even attended a lecture presented by a male-to-female transsexual who used to be a minister!

I must admit that the first time I worked closely with a gay man, I was uncomfortable. As time progressed, however, we developed a friendship, and I was able to share my faith with him. I was able to undo the aversion he felt toward Christians because of the way he had been treated in the past.

It was only through this relationship that resulted from my studies that I began to realize Christ loves everyone and wants to save everyone, regardless of their sins. For the first time, I truly understand how to hate the sin but love the sinner. I still believe homosexuality is a sin, but I know Christ wants to save people from this lifestyle rather than condemn them because of it.

Today's young Christians are constantly faced with challenges to their faith, yet parents believe they will have the strength of character to turn away from bad influences. In church and Sunday School, teens are encouraged to read the Bible for themselves rather than "simply accepting" what they are told. Parents and teachers both feel their children's faith will become their own though doing so

Why, then, can't collegiate Christians participate in "liberal" classes and come out stronger? Are young women and men so insecure in their faith that they will go astray as soon as a professor tells them their beliefs are wrong? I don't think so. If thousands of Christians have become doctors without embracing evolution, there is no reason why thousands of Christians cannot advocates for women while still embracing our Lord.

About the Writer: Joy Beth Curtis graduated from Vanderbilt University in Nashville, TN. She is currently pursuing a Phy.D. in Clinical Psychology and an M.A. in Theology.  She and her husband Scotty attend Tanner Trails Community Church in Aurora, IL.

            It's impossible to underestimate the importance of this question. If Jesus survived crucifixion then He was just a false prophet, we are still in our sins, and there is no ultimate hope for the world. If Jesus didn't die and then resurrect we may as well "feast and drink, for tomorrow we die!" (1 Cor. 15).

So, how do we know Jesus really died by crucifixion? Let's consider three lines of evidence. First, the nature of crucifixion virtually guarantees death. Crucifixion was designed to cause maximal pain to victims. Cicero called crucifixion "the most cruel and hideous of tortures . . . the extreme penalty for a slave." The pain was so unbearable that a new word had to be invented: Excruciating literally means "out of the cross." Jesus was whipped mercilessly, had a crown of thorns placed on His head, carried His crossbar to his place of execution, and was ultimately nailed to the cross. Given the efficiency of the Roman guards, it strains credibility to think that Jesus survived the cross.

            Second, medical evidence proves Jesus died on the cross. After Jesus was observed to be dead, one of the Roman executioners thrust a spear into His side, and blood and water immediately came out (John 19:34). While the apostle John was an eyewitness to this event, he had no idea about the significance of his observation. In 1986 (at least 1950 years after the crucifixion!) the prestigious Journal of the American Medical Association featured an article demonstrating that the release of blood and water from such a spear wound is a sure sign of death.

            Third, there is extra-biblical evidence that Jesus was crucified. Non-Christian sources also provide evidence for the death of Jesus. These include Cornelius Tacitus (A.D. 55-120), who is considered by many to be the greatest ancient Roman historian as well as the Jewish scholar Josephus (A.D. 37-97). Believing that Jesus survived the cross might make for an interesting movie, but it strains credibility.

            Why does this matter? The death of Jesus should motivate us to reach out in love to a broken and hurting world. First John 3:16 says that we know what real love is because of what Jesus has done for us. The sacrificial love of Christ is the greatest display of love the world has ever seen. It's up to us to put that love into action.

Brink: Tell us about your band's name.

Zack: I grew up on a street called Walla Avenue in Fort Worth, TX. When I  
was a child I had certain hopes and dreams that have been lost through  
the process of "growing up." I have often felt that I would be a  
better human being, that is, better acquainted with my true heart, if  
I hadn't. I believe that many of us have similar stories and at times  
feel as if a part of us is missing. Perhaps it's the part that helps  
us come alive and find the strength to live truly satisfied lives.  
Most young children seem to have an innate trust in their caretakers  
and guardians in difficult circumstances, and know exactly what they  
want to become in this world. The Walla Recovery is our own pursuit to  
find and relearn those qualities, and our encouraging others to do the  
same.

Brink: How long have you all known each other? How did you meet?

Zack: We met and began playing music together in late 2001 at our church. I  
was a youth ministry intern at the time, and Brandon, Jonathan, and  
Justin were high schoolers in our student praise team. For more than 3  
years we led worship for their peers on a weekly basis. We often look  
back on those times as foundational to who we are now, individually  
and corporately, musically, creatively, and socially. We found playing  
music together to be something we loved enough to keep going.

Brink: What is your purpose or objective as a band? What do you guys want  
to add to music?

Zack: We have so many goals! We want to create art that brings encouragement  
to those who need a friend, helps people to cast away their fears and  
experience joy. We'd like to fill a void of substance we see in  
popular music by offering well-crafted songs housing intimate  
conversations about our own lives and honest struggles, in hopes that  
people can find them worthwhile to engage with in their daily thoughts  
and relationships. We pursue a peaceful, intelligent presence, and  
excellence, because we believe the endeavor to produce something  
beautiful is difficult, should require our whole hearts, and will  
sharpen us and teach us more about the creator of all things. We'd  
like to become part of a community of people loving one another,  
finding our voice, and speaking the truth.

Brink: What are your thoughts on your latest EP, With Trembling?

Zack: This has been a project in the making for some time. Some tracks were  
written nearly a decade ago, and have been waiting to be refined and  
sent out into the world. It is a collection of related songs written  
during a tumultuous few years in my life, when I had ideas about  
entrusting myself to the Lord, but also found a hard time being  
comfortable with his sovereign will, and more questions and answers.  
Is he good? Will he do what's best for me? Can I trust him? At the  
start you'll find our main character living the best he can on his  
own, self-absorbed and ultimately dissatisfied. At the end, you find  
him open and curious, beginning a new journey toward a kind of death  
that makes way for true life: a joyful sacrifice. The road between is  
littered with events and conversations planned to help him remember  
the only one he can trust. It tells this story in the style of our own  
human history, pointing out creation, fall, redemption, and  
consummation.

Brink: What's your favorite song on the EP? Why?

Zack: Each of us in the band will have a different answer to this, but I  
have to say my favorite is "She Said." Honestly, it's easy to play and  
sing along with, and it speaks intimately about the source of our  
knowing who we are in this life. I often feel as if our songs come  
from outside of us, bearing messages that we need to hear as much as  
we need to relay, and this is especially true on this one. The  
realization it's helped me make has been life changing. A runner-up is  
"The Spoils of Warring Hearts," which is fun to play live, and the  
words really remind me that God loves me more than anything I love in  
his place.

Brink: Is there a band or song that inspires you when the Christian walk  
gets tough?

Zack: You should really check out 'Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken' by  
Indelible Grace (igracemusic.com), sung by Andy Osenga. It's brutally  
honest about how impossibly strong of a commitment is warranted by the  
astounding work of Jesus; thereby, it shines with the promise of grace  
to me. And the melody is enchanting. I can't sing every word of that  
song truthfully, but I pray that I will live in them nonetheless.

Brink: Are you guys going on tour any time soon?

Zack: We hope to be out playing shows later on this spring and summer, and  
we'd love to hear where our listeners would like to see us play, so  
that we can connect with them in their own cities and towns. At the  
start of 2010, we're currently taking a little time to further develop  
our live show and experiment with some new material, as well as make  
connections with as many indie bands and cool listening spots as we  
can. We also have some big secret plans in the works and we're really  
excited about the future.

Brink: Can you share the experience that led you to Christ?

Zack: When I was just out of junior high school I went to a summer camp with  
my youth group. I remember the speaker halfway through the week,  
talking about what you might experience when first realizing that  
you're dead because of your wrongdoing, trapped by a curse you can't  
escape, and that there's a way to live, to be free again, in Jesus.  
Even after attending church my entire life, I knew I hadn't  
experienced anything he was talking about. Grace found me there, and I  
saw the hopeless condition of my heart for the first time. A  
transformation from darkness to light has been taking place ever since.

Brink: How can people who are interested in The Walla Recovery get your EP?

Zack: It's available online at our website, thewallarecovery.com; on iTunes,  
Amazon MP3, and most other digital download stores. We are also giving  
away our previous EP on Noisetrade, and we like to let our Facebook,  
Twitter, and mailing list followers have a free download every now and  
then, too. You can find all the links to that stuff and more at  
thewallarecovery.com.

Brink: If you weren't a musician, what would you be?

Zack: This is so random, but lately I've been thinking about writing. I'm  
finding more and more great writers of fiction who inspire me:  
Tolkien, Lewis, Austen, Rowling. I think it would be fun to be an  
author and sculpt stories that take a while to ingest and people can  
really dive into. If that didn't work out, I think I would have fun  
getting into photography. Just more ways to join a meaningful  
commentary of life and enjoy all the wonderful things the Lord has made.

Check out The Walla Recovery's site: http://thewallarecovery.com

They're also on twitter: http://twitter.com/wallarecovery

However, others, such as Aldous Huxley (author of Brave New World) feared that we would instead "become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy." He remarked in Brave New World Revisited that the "civil libertarians and rationalists" who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny "failed to take into account man's almost infinite appetite for distractions." In the book 1984, written by George Orwell, we find men who are controlled by inflicting pain. In Huxley's book, Brave New World, people are controlled by inflicting pleasure.

Author Neil Postman explains that George Orwell, looking into the future, feared that what we hate would ruin us.

But Aldous Huxley feared that what we love would ruin us.

In saying such a thing, Postman is attempting to communicate that technology, specifically in his case television, [1] is the thing that we love and it is the very thing that will ruin us. I would agree and argue that what we love will indeed ruin us—but the problem is not television. That is simply an outworking of something much, much deeper.

Our hearts.

I Met the Buzzards at Church

For some reason, during church services in particular, distracting thoughts seem to swoop around my head like a flock of hungry buzzards waiting to eat a dead carcass.

It's a pretty disgusting thought.

But maybe you have the same problem. I just drift off into distraction all the time. I have an infinite desire for distractions!

And I am in desperate need of some kind of deadly weapon of retaliation in order to rid myself of these brain-devouring distractions. Especially when it comes to taking part in the things of God, like a Sunday morning at church.

Now, what exactly is the connection between Huxley's Brave New World and the vultures circling around my slowly disintegrating consciousness as I'm sitting in the pew? It's rather simple, really.

Your heart and my heart desire to please themselves—and part of that means entertaining (or distracting) ourselves. Remember the statement that "people are controlled by inflicting pleasure"? That's our society—that's me! I am completely controlled by the things that please me—not others, and especially not God.

There is a reason that I am never distracted while watching Sports Center or watching my favorite television show. I'm never worrying about what I'm going to have for dinner, or that project that's due tomorrow, or the conversation I need to have with a friend. Those situations still exist, but when it comes to things that entertain me, all of those things seem to fade into the background.

But for some reason those very things seem to leap into my mind as I'm writing down point number two from the sermon from my pastor. Let's take a look at why that may be by taking a closer look at the "heart."

Idols, Idols, Idols . . .

We have to realize we have disgusting idols permeating our beings. Not physical idols that we create and bow down to in our living rooms. These are much more subtle.

My own heart is the center of production for these things! And they're not always initially bad things, per se. They are simply things that we love more than God, things we look at and say (sometimes unknowingly), "I can't do without that thing. I just can't be happy without it!" It might be a good thing (like a relationship, a car, or the latest phone)—but when you lose a good thing, there is some time of sorrow, and it can be replaced by something else. But when you lose an idol . . . you despair. [2]

My distractions just happen to be one particularly powerful way to detect these idols that are in my life. Archbishop William Temple once said, "Your religion is what you do with your solitude." That is frighteningly true. Wherever my mind most often drifts can help me to discover and address the current idols that I have within my heart. If my mind drifts off constantly to the relationship, the car, the latest phone, or whatever, I have the perfect opportunity to test and detect the idols that I may have haunting my heart.

What Now?

Since Sunday morning just happens to be an excellent time for me to realize the idols that are in my heart, the appropriate response to those idols is to do the following:

1. I must acknowledge I have idols in my life. We all do! And I just happened to figure out what mine were in the moments when my mind began to be assaulted by what seemed like lovely creatures yet were actually disgusting buzzards waiting to devour the roadkill that had become my mind. That's what idols often do—they take over the brain and heart, completing destroying our allegiance to what should be first place: Jesus Christ.
2. I must realize that I cannot overcome or destroy these idols alone. Without help, I am completely enslaved to these idols. I am without the weapons to overcome them.
3. I must preach the gospel. The gospel is the very thing that I need to destroy the vultures, or idols, or distracting thoughts. Often our being distracted is showing that we do not care about the gospel enough to seek after the Word of God, His church, or His community. I want to be so enraptured by the gospel that I take it and make it "of first importance" as Paul says in 1 Corinthians.

Let's not allow our sinful nature (or the infinite desire for distraction) to rule our lives. If we are believers, we have Jesus Christ, who has conquered sin! We are no longer slaves to sin, but servants of Jesus Christ. Because He has saved us, He must be first in our lives. First does not mean second, or equal to other things in our lives.

There are so many other ways that we can have or allow idols into our lives and so many other ways to detect idols. But for now—when you see those buzzards, watch out. It might just be the perfect opportunity to start breaking some idols you're worshipping other than Jesus Christ.

Tim Sweetman is a 19-year-old journalist, blogger, and student who lives near our nation's capital, Washington D.C. He is much more widely known by his "code-name," Agent Tim, which also serves as the name of his popular blog http://www.agenttimonline.com, which has received over 750,000 visits since its debut three years ago.

[1] Postman, Neil. Amusing Ourselves To Death. Introduction.

[2] I recommend reading Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller for further information.

Christmas time is awesome. It's also right around the corner. I can feel it. In fact, I start anticipating Christmas a littler earlier every year. I've tried to figure out why that is and I haven't come to any definite answers. Sure, I love the season, the traditions, the family time, the gifts, the music, the movies, and most everything else that is connected with this time of year, but those things don't seem to be enough to turn me into the sentimental sap that I'm becoming. And it's getting worse. For crying out loud, I got teary eyed watching The Santa Clause with my family the other day! What does it say about me that not only did that actually happen, but that I am willing to admit it to everyone I know? Don't answer that.

Sadly though, many of the people that I am around on a daily basis don't view Christmas like I do. For them, it's not very awesome. Most people I know are more depressed, more exhausted, more frustrated, and more hopeless this time of year than at any other time. It can prove difficult to keep my spirits high when I am around these miniature Scrooges, but I press on. Nothing can bring me down when Christmas is close at hand.

            (Abrupt shift in tone ahead. You have been warned. I promise this is going to make sense.)

I don't over spiritualize the stuff that happens in my life. Too often, I fail to see God at work even though I completely believe that to be true. I also believe that He intervenes in my life for my benefit. But I don't discern it like I should. I am prone to overlooking God's hand, to my detriment. One of my chief failings is that I shy away from outward expressions of gratitude and recognition when God is working in my life. I get uncomfortable talking about "spiritual" things around others, and I really don't get that. It's not that I am ashamed, but perhaps it's that I don't want to come across as one of those "Praise God!" people. You know what I'm talking about. These are the people that sound like they have one foot in heaven and one foot in a revival service. They don't seem to be part of the same world as the rest of us struggling believers. They never seem to have any problems and God is always talking to them and clearly guiding them. I'm not knocking these people, it's just that I don't understand them and perhaps that is entirely my fault. That's not my world or my life and perhaps it never will be. Where I live, things are not always easy or rose-colored. My life is full of questions and uncertainties. And I have a really good life from any viewpoint so I can only imagine what it's like for some people that have had a much more difficult journey through life.

            (...and we're back!)

That's a long way to get to my point. What were we talking about anyway? Oh yes, Christmas. That previous paragraph. . . that is why I love Christmas. Not making sense yet? Ok, I'll try to explain. I am very willing this time of the year to be vocal about God, spirituality, and all the rest. It's the meaning of the season, after all. Most people lower their defenses this time of year and that makes it much easier for me to be honest and truly express what God is doing for me, to me, and with me. I don't have to hide behind my well designed façade; I can let it all hang out in a manner of speaking. For most of the year I am a very reserved fellow, but you get me close to Christmas and I sort of lose my mind. Food tastes better. The air is purer. Life is richer. There is a feeling of rebirth or starting over that is intoxicating and it is impossible for me to ignore it or hide it. I have a light and it must and shall shine! 

Perhaps you are in love with the Christmas season as well. If so, I challenge you to put those good feelings to work. It can be daunting when so many people around you are discouraged and miserable, but isn't that a good enough reason to tell them why Christmas makes you so happy? During this time they might just need a little good news and you have the best news in the world. Share it.

Now, I just need to figure out how to do that the rest of the year.

Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world—stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death—and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas. —Henry Van Dyke

Phill Lytle is a father of 3 and husband of 1, living in Nashville, TN.

            Whether conservative or liberal, the debate rides the fence on three issues: compassion, fairness, and utopia. When we compare these issues to the redemptive work of Christ, there is revealing truth that should clarify the health care debate for us all.

            First, let's examine the issue of compassion. Those who call for health care reform tell the tragic stories of victims who suffer at the hands of the existing system. They hope to inspire compassion that leads to radical change, while opponents save their compassion for those that would lose benefits due to reform. Then there is fairness. Reform advocates believe that everyone deserves the same coverage and that this should be enforced by law. Dissenters say that this leads to nothing but entitlement, which they feel is a myth. Instead, people deserve only what they earn for themselves. Finally, there are those that believe we can achieve utopia in this world as it is. They believe that people get better as generations go by, and that we are smarter, more enlightened, and more capable than any past generation. They feel that health care reform is a progressive step in the right direction.

            So what does redemption say about health care reform? Well, a lot of those on that train are the same people who use the Beatitudes (Matthew 5:1-12) to condemn judgmental Christians. While what this Scripture says is highly important, what it doesn't say is equally important. And when it comes to compassion, nothing is said about legislation. Instead, the greatest show of compassion from our Savior was done of His own free will. When a disciple tried to fight the mob that came to arrest the Savior, Jesus said, "Thinkest thou that I cannot now pray to my Father, and he shall presently give me more than twelve legions of angels?" (Matthew 26:53) While Jesus' work spoke volumes about compassion, they said nothing about coercion.

            When it comes to fairness, I'm thankful Jesus didn't have much use for the idea. He told the adulterous woman that her sins were forgiven. He asked the Father to forgive those who crucified Him, because they didn't know what they were doing. Romans 5:8 tells us He died for mankind while we were still in our sins. Fairness wouldn't have let those stories end the way they did. Yes, fairness is a foreign concept in the Bible, and it makes me wonder where it came from in the first place. And entitlement just reminds me I was entitled to an eternal residence in Hell. People in their illusion of their own righteousness are feeling as if they are entitled to a far different destiny than reality suggests. And do you think for a moment this has nothing to do with why we feel as if we are entitled to free health care?

            Lastly, Jesus spoke of a utopia, but He said before we see that, He would come and get us to take us there. In John 14, we have the picture of utopia described for us by Jesus Himself, but verse 3 makes it clear that it is not here, not now, and not made by man. It is later, prepared by Him, and involves a trip to somewhere else.

            So with Jesus, compassion is best when done voluntarily, and fairness wouldn't pan out how we think. And utopia: it's not here, not now, and not of our own making. Jesus does, however, uphold the commandments that condemn stealing, whether it be from an individual or future generations that would pay for our mistakes. And he preaches we should be dependent on Him, not a government. And don't think for a moment there's nothing you can do about this issue. You have congressmen and senators who need your go ahead to vote for what they already know is right. Their phone numbers are just a Google search away. What would Jesus do? You tell me.

Alan Skiles is a 2007 graduate of Free Will Baptist Bible College. He and his wife Grace reside in Jackson, TN, where he pastors Victory Free Will Baptist Church.

It's not the presence of past sin that is a deal-breaker, but how it was and is being dealt with. In Psalm 25:6-8, David prayed, "Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord."

Did your boyfriend have sex before he became a believer; or if after, has he grieved the harm of his disobedience and turned away from it? Such are the marks of the kind of repentance David modeled. Not just feeling sorry for sin, but running away from it (1 Corinthians 6:17-19, 10:12-14). And not just running away from opportunities for sexual sin, but also getting help from other, more mature believers. Neither of you should be going it alone.

Second Timothy 2:2 says, "Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (emphasis added). This Scripture holds the key to freedom from past sin: flee, and seek out pastors, parents and mentors who have pure hearts and are willing to do the hard work of walking with you—both the one who sinned sexually, and the one who is hurt by the sin.

James reminds us "We all stumble in many ways" 3:2. What matters is how we deal with sin. What is his conduct now? Is it marked by the self-control that is evidence of the Holy Spirit's presence in his life, or is he pressuring you to have sex? That would be a red flag worthy of ending the relationship.

If you've discovered past sexual sin, ask, is he/she pursuing Christ; repentant; running from past sin, including setting up safeguards for future temptation? What evidence is there of Christ's redemption and transformation?

If you haven't sinned in this way, it's important to guard your heart against self-righteousness. God calls us not only to pure actions, but to a pure life that flows out of a heart rightly set on Him (Proverbs 4:23). In the end, chastity should be motivated not by what we'll get from it, but by our love for God (John 14:15). Obedience is its own reward. And it's the best defense against self-righteousness.

Mercifully, God's redemptive power is strong enough to bring beauty in marriage out of the ashes of sexual brokenness on the part of one or both of you. It's redemption is worth waiting for.

Candice Watters is the founder of Boundless.org and author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen (Moody) and co-author with her husband, Steve, of Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies.

This is the second part of things to keep in mind when looking for God's will. (I'm thinking there will probably be four parts to this.) The first part was that God's will does not contradict the Bible. (For part one, copy and paste this URL: http://thebrinkonline.com/articles/read/how-to-know-gods-will-part-1.)

The second important thing to remember is to listen to the Spirit of God.

After the following introductory thoughts, I tried to make the rest of this piece flow like a conversation where I anticipate a question that might come to your mind. Feel free to ask more questions in the comments section and I'll do my best to find an answer for you.

I didn't hear much about the Holy Spirit growing up. I think some Christians have been scared to talk about Him in fear of being labeled something they didn't want to be. So as a result, He gets neglected. Or at least our understanding of His role in our life does.

But if we want to understand the Bible and the nature of God, we have to understand the significance the Holy Spirit plays in the story of God. And if you want to know God's will (essentially, hear Him), then it would greatly benefit you to know and at least partly understand one of the main methods in which God speaks.

Does the Spirit know what God's will is?

Emphatically, yes!

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians that the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. He went on to say that no one understands the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Other than Scripture and nature, the only way we can know what God is thinking is to listen to the Spirit of God. If you want to know God's will, listen to the Spirit, because the Spirit knows what God's will is for you.

How does the Spirit speak?

I have a caveat and then an example. The caveat is that in the same way God's will does not contradict the Bible, the Holy Spirit does not either. In fact, I have had experiences when the Holy Spirit spoke to me through a passage of Scripture. Someone was reading a passage, and the Spirit of God "said" to me, "This is what I want you to get right now." So yes it was the Spirit speaking to me, but He used the Scripture to tell me exactly what He wanted me to know. It was an unexplainable, incredible experience.

This caveat reminds me—if and when the Spirit of God speaks to you about the will of God, test it. If you want to know whether or not it was God's Spirit and not indigestion or a different spirit (evil spirits are real, and they can speak), test what the spirit said with what the Bible says. If it contradicts the Bible, you did not hear from God's Spirit, but something else (1 John 4:1).

The example I'm about to give is not necessarily the only way God's Spirit can speak (see Isaiah 30:27 for a time when God spoke loudly). It's just the way God has chosen to speak to me.

In 1 Kings, God spoke to the prophet Elijah. God had told Elijah to stand on a mountain so he could observe what was about to happen. He witnessed a wind that broke rocks into pieces, an earthquake, and a fire. The text says the Lord was not in any of those things. But then after the fire Elijah heard a "still small voice." That voice was the way in which God spoke to Elijah.

I think the Spirit still speaks in this way today—quietly.

How should someone go about hearing the Spirit speak quietly?

There's two parts to this answer. The first is you have to be quiet to hear something quiet.

I heard a speaker one time that had a real gift at using different volume levels in his presentation. He would get louder or softer depending on the moment or what he was saying. As I listened, I noticed something interesting about how the crowd reacted to his volume changes. The louder he got, the more rustling you could hear in the audience. But the softer he got, the softer everyone else got. You could hear a pin drop during his pauses. That's because if you wanted to hear what he had to say, you had to be completely silent in order to hear him at that moment.

I think listening to the Spirit works in the same way. Sometimes our lives are very, very loud and it takes the Spirit doing something very loud just to get our attention. Other times, we are very reflective and meditative and quiet, and the Spirit simply whispers to us.

If there is so much going on in your life that you never think about what the Spirit of God is saying to you, your life is too loud. Too noisy. Too busy. You need to unplug. Don't use your iPod for a week. Stay offline. Don't check email. Don't text. Sit in silence for 5 minutes without saying a word. Add 1 minute to that time each day.

The first part of the answer is you have to learn how to be quiet in order to hear something quiet.

The second part of the answer is you have to be close to someone to hear them whisper.

The Scripture says draw near to God, and He will draw near to you (James 4:8a). God has gone to great lengths for us to be able to know Him and hear Him. He reveals Himself through (1) creation, (2) Jesus, (3) the Bible, and (4) His Spirit. These things are all available to you. Now it's up to you to respond to what God has done. If you want to know God's will, you need to listen to the Spirit. And if you want to listen to the Spirit, you need to draw near to Him.

How does someone "draw near to God?"

The same text I referenced above goes on to say that we should cleanse our hands and purify our hearts. We are sinners and "double-minded" people (James 4:8b). This is how we draw near to God: we confess our sins and repent of them.

If sin is a blockade that keeps us from God, it is incredibly foolish to think God would show us His will when there is sin in our lives! It's not that God doesn't want to tell you, it's that you have chosen to cover your ears!

The Spirit of God cannot speak to someone who has put a barrier between that person and Himself. And if you want to hear the Spirit tell you God's will, you have to be incredibly close to Him.

The good news is that if you have accepted Christ, then you have the Spirit of God in you. And the Spirit is always looking to tell you things about Christ (1 Corinthians 2:12). In fact, sometimes He speaks in ways you wouldn't have thought—we would think a God so powerful as our God would choose to speak in an earthquake instead of a still small voice.

 Is there anything else?

The last thing I have to say in how we interact with the Spirit of God to find out His will is to ask Him. Ask Him.

Ask God to tell you.

Matthew 7:7 says if you ask it will be given to you. And if you seek, you will find it. If you knock, it will be opened to you.

Another point of advice is to literally verbalize what you are asking God. Don't just "ask it in your heart." There is something about saying things aloud when talking to God.

If you have a specific decision in mind, simply say aloud, "God, what do You want me to do about ______?" If you want to know whether or not God wants you to date a guy named Charlie, say, "God, do You want me to date Charlie?" Take whatever situation you are in and adapt it to the question.

If you want to know what God's will is for your life, you've got to get plugged into one of the main sources through which He speaks—His Spirit.

Jacob Riggs is Editor of The Brink. Contact him at twitter.com/jacobriggs.

I'm not here to discuss various societal issues and whatnot. My contention here is the rationale and application of the term 'hypocrite' is flawed. Furthermore, it is not a sufficient excuse for rejecting the Gospel of salvation. Would it be sufficient to say that the doctrine of love as preached by Jesus is not the prevalent mindset practiced by contemporary Christians? (That ball got dropped long ago.) Also, that Christians consistently fail to uphold the standards to which they are commanded? Ok. We're on the same page, then.

While I was in high school, I publicly committed to abstinence, complete with the mocking of my peers. I went off to a Christian college with great expectations and graduated with an ambition to serve "the least of these." My resolve wore down rather soon. I gradually made concessions and compromises, ultimately losing my virginity at the ripe old age of 23. Oops. Am I supposed to type that? See, I have always been a firm believer in the biblical view of sex: sex is a beautiful, glorious gift from God, useful for procreation and pleasure, and only permissible within the marriage of a man and a woman.

Hypocrite. I fully expect my now five-year-old daughter to blast me when I remind her of biblical standards during her adolescence and however far beyond. Still, even those who don't label me consider my moral choices suspect. Recently, I was shooting pool with some friends who were trying to decide whether or not we would go to a gentleman's club. I refused. What they had once considered absolute was now up for debate. As my friends, they would never say, "You're tainted now, bro. What's the big deal?" Even so, their approach to my convictions, which hadn't changed, demonstrated their perspective, which had.

The second effect of my failure was that I became afraid of judgment and therefore withdrew from Christian service. I judged myself far more harshly than anyone else did. Now, I may have permanently damaged what some call my "Christian witness." My choices may provide ammo to those who decry the teaching of abstinence. I know my choices shook the faith of a few, and changed the path of my ministry. (I intended to finish seminary and become a pastor—go figure.) But does that change the truth of the Gospel? No. Should that stop me from communicating in love, patience, and compassion, the hope I have in Christ? No.

Hypocrisy wields this great power to create divisions within our society and especially within our spirits. Hypocrisy is its own entity. So, I'm calling him out. "Hypocrisy" has meant that you say one thing and do another. Like when I tell my daughter not to sit on the arm of the couch—as I'm sitting on the opposite arm. "Do as I say and not as I do" kind of thing. The modern application of this misconception is when an individual's behavior is in conflict with his or her set of beliefs, or worldview.

If you possess a worldview based on absolute standards of right and wrong, and you sin, you're automatically a hypocrite. Since all have sinned, all Christians are hypocrites. Conversely, if you possess a worldview that is not predisposed to absolute right and wrong, you can never be a hypocrite. This understanding leads people to wrongly think Jesus' doctrine of love and conservative opposition to same-sex marriage are inconsistent. For marriage is based on love, is it not? How can one preach love, yet restrict the right of one individual to love another? (Again, an example, albeit a feisty one.)

This application of hypocrisy makes two faulty assumptions: (1) Behavior/choices are influenced by beliefs; (2) When they are misaligned, the tangible takes precedence over the intangible. That is to say, behavior influences belief. Since Christians cannot keep it in their pants, nor can they stay married, who are they to determine who can marry whom? Effectively, the sinfulness of Christians has rendered the Bible and its precepts obsolete. Even Christians have this in their mind. I've heard some say, "Yeah, I believe in the Bible, but that doesn't mean all the other religions are wrong."

I would go so far as to say belief and behavior are two separate categories of choice. You choose your belief. You choose your behavior. Should belief influence your behavior? Absolutely—especially Christians. But, to lump the two such that a choice can nullify the truth of a belief is philosophically unsound. It is an ad hominem fallacy to attempt to invalidate an individual's position simply because he or she may be a hypocrite. A person's failure to uphold biblical standards is not sufficient grounds for the abandonment of those standards.

So, how can we define and apply "hypocrisy" effectively and fairly? I shall try. If I believe Jesus commanded me to serve the least of these, yet I tell my daughter to avoid the poor—that is hypocrisy. If I believe Jesus is who he says He is ("The way, the truth, and the light"), yet claim other religions offer a possible way to salvation—then that is hypocrisy. It is not hypocrisy for Mr. Al Gore to leave all the lights on in his home incessantly . . . unless he truly believes it causes harm to the environment, and then he suggests to me that it is okay if I leave all the lights on in my home.

As for those of us who hold to absolute moral standards—if we believe the Bible determines sex to take place only between a married man and woman, and then advise those around us "what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom"—that is hypocrisy. If we are transparent, holding to our beliefs, our truths, yet acknowledging our failures, there is nothing hidden. There is no two-face, no double standard, and no hypocrisy. Transparency is the key to breaking down the walls that the accepted application of hypocrisy creates. So, let me ask you this: am I a hypocrite?

Bryce Thompson is a single dad, writing and residing in Connecticut's "Quiet Corner."

It's good to want to know God's will. It means you're concerned about what He wants with your life. That's a really great thing.

It's sometimes tough to know what God's will is. However, I don't think it has to be. I'm not saying it's simple black and white. I'm just saying it's not as mysterious as we might think.

I haven't had a ton of experiences with looking for God's will (I'm only 24). But the few that I've had have been memorable and impactful. I hope you find this beneficial.

So here's the first part of this and what I think is a very important component a lot of people overlook in finding God's will.

God's will does not contradict the Bible.

Nope. Not one bit.

We can know this because of what the Bible claims to be. Second Timothy says all Scripture is given by inspiration of God. So, if all of the Bible is inspired by God, how could we think God would do or be something different than what He Himself wrote?

The only way I can figure this would make sense would be if God changed somehow. You and I have opinions and we argue them. But sometimes we change our opinions based upon an experience we have or some new information we receive. Well, God already knows all. First John 3:20 says God knows everything. Since His knowledge is without end, His "opinion" will never change based upon a new influx of information or a new experience.

And since God is the same "yesterday, today, and forever" (Hebrews 13:8), He is the same today as He was when He inspired the Bible a few thousand years ago. The Bible will not contradict God. God's will will not go against what the Bible says.

Let me unpack this a bit with a few examples and try to make it applicable.

If you are married to a woman who is faithful to you but is starting to get on your nerves, it will never be God's will for you to divorce her. Never. Happy, unhappy, getting your needs met or not, it will never be God's will for people who are faithful to each other to divorce one another. We can know this because of the way the Bible speaks of marriage and divorce, and God does not contradict His Word (Matthew 5:32).

Here's another example.

If your taxes are increased by the government, it is not God's will for you to get around that, even if you are using the money for a good cause. I don't care if you're taking the money and using it to help save starving children in Africa. It is not God's will for you to cheat the government of your money, even if they are taking "too much." Why is this true? Because of how Paul said for us to deal with the government in Romans 13, and what Jesus said about our relationship with the State (Matthew 22:21). And since God's will does not contradict His Word, we know it is not God's will for us to do these things. 

One last example.

Let's suppose I got a job offer. My wife would not like to work some day and this job pays enough where she woudn't have to. But the job is directly linked with obtaining money in an illegal fashion. And I'm aware of it before I take the job. This is an easy decision for me. Because, well, the job would force me to be dishonest, and that would go against what the Bible teaches about honest gain and hard work (Proverbs 13:11). Lynsey and I would not have to deliberate on this decision because God is not honored by dishonest gain based on what the Bible says, and God's will does not contradict the Bible. 

Let me wrap this up.

If you're faced with a decision, the first thing you've got to do is ask yourself, "Does the Bible address this issue in any way?" Then, use honest discernment with the help of the Holy Spirit and ask, "Does this decision contradict what the Bible says?"

If the decision goes against the Bible, it is not God's will for you to proceed.

It's probably a whole lot harder if you have a lot to leave behind.

This week, school started up and at our district's convocation we got a special guest speaker. You might be familiar with H&R Block, the tax prep company. It's based in Kansas City and has 22 million customers, so they're doing all right. It was founded by two brothers, Henry and Richard Bloch. I guess they thought 'Block' was catchier than 'Bloch.'

One of the sons, Thomas Bloch, came to talk to the teachers of our district. What on earth does the heir to a tax service company have to do with education?

Actually, he already inherited the company. He started as a tax preparer out of college and worked his way up the ladder. Eventually, he was CEO of the company. I'm sure he had a very nice office to go with the million-dollar bankroll he was taking home. I imagine home for him was a ten-story yacht with a bowling alley, called the S.S. I'm on a Boat. Hey, I don't know how CEOs live.

Anyway, about the place in his life where a guy couldn't hire any more people to kiss up to him, Tom decided his life was empty. He decided that a million-dollar bankroll wasn't all he was born to accomplish.

So he decided to teach junior high algebra to inner-city underachievers.

Really? Teach? Algebra? Inner-city? Doesn't make sense. In his own words, he went from a place loaded with cash and respect to a place that afforded absolutely none of either. Now, you may know that the Kansas City school district is notoriously bad. So a rich white guy who actually expected effort and success from his students was still a sideshow. He was actually laughed at by parents when he told them their children were failing. They laughed in the face of the former CEO of a multi-billion dollar corporation. He was of no consequence to them.

He realized that he spent only half his time teaching algebra to his algebra students. The rest of the time was spent teaching character, citizenship or morality. That's off the record, because every politically correct person knows a teacher's job is to teach academics, not character . . . right?

Then he decided he needed to take it one step further. He was friends with Barnett Helzberg of the jewelry store chain, also based in Kansas City. Barnett had sold his company and was looking for a new challenge and, presumably, a large gaping money-pit to wildly throw his cash into, never to be seen again.

So they opened a school. They felt the name University Academy was pretentious enough to work, so they went with that.
The first couple of years were a disaster as students came in, realized the standards were abnormally high for the inner-city, and moved on. Eventually the school was moved, expanded to include all the grades, and students started sticking around and graduating.

Tom admitted that his sacrifice was easy financially. There are plenty of people who struggle far more to make the change he did. He had made his money. Even with all the money he's poured down the drain on a school, his family's lifestyle hasn't suffered. But still, I have to wonder how many days he thought to himself, while getting disrespected to his face by children and their parents, "I don't have to be doing this."

I think that's what ministry is all about. At some point, probably most ministers think, "I don't have to be doing this." Then they realize that, yes, they do. Because it's a calling.

I don't know if Tom is a Christian, but he could be. And he made a decision that makes a great story. Have you ever known anyone like that, who "threw it all away" to do something great? Maybe you're that person that people talk about. What's your story?

Matt is a teacher and pastor in Kansas City, MO. He is also the co-founder of SaveAfrica.com, a missionary endeavor in Sudan. He blogs at TheChurchofNoPeople.com, and lives with his wife, Cheri.

Copyright 2009 Matt Appling. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

            So, that gets me back to my Moment of Revelatory Exhilaration, or MORE. (By the way, every time I write that phrase, imagine hearing it as a very loud Alan-Kalter type bellow.)  I can't say I was thinking about anything in particular while I was driving, so I wasn't exactly searching for anything beautiful, but beauty found me anyway. I had the radio on one of those "We play whatever we want" stations. The volume was low because the song that had been playing wasn't really doing it for me. So, because of that, I missed the first couple of notes of the next song, U2's glorious "With or Without You." Once I realized what song was on, I turned up the volume to a comfortably deafening level. Loud enough to hear Adam Clayton's overly simple, yet perfectly appropriate bass line, The Edge's precise guitar work, Bono's soaring vocals, and Larry Mullen's rhythmic time-keeping. I can't even begin to describe the rush of emotions that hit me. I forgot I was cold. I forgot my headache. I forgot the crappy day I had at work. I forgot about the bumper-to-bumper traffic. I simply allowed the song to "minister" to me. I know that sounds preposterous and touchy-feely, but it happened. And I am better for it. I don't base my theology on this song, even though it probably captures the typical Christian experience better than just about any song on Christian radio any given year. I don't have to agree with everything an artist is expressing, that is not how it works. I just need to be ready to catch a quick glimpse of eternity that the artist may or may not have even intended.

            I experienced MORE the first time I saw Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf the Grey hug on the big screen. I got hit over the head with MORE when Stephen Lawhead wrote about Merlin holding Arthur in his arms as their small boat sailed to Avalon. Every time I hear "The River Will Flow" by Whiteheart, my soul swells to touch heaven. (Pardon the hyperbole.) When Pocahontas/Rebecca takes John Rolfe's hand in The New World, my spirit smiles. I think God smiles too. These Moments of Revelatory Exhilaration are everywhere; we just have to be ready to open up to them. Mind you, the Moments are not just in the arts. It could be a sunset. A friend. Your family. I could go on for pages about the ways my kids help me experience MORE. My point is: We need to cultivate an appreciation for these moments God gives us. There is a fundamental reason we have this ability; it points our eyes to our Creator. If we truly appreciate the beauty and truth we find in our lives, it will only nurture our love and devotion to the Source of that beauty and truth.

            Open your eyes and your hearts and experience MORE.

Phill Lytle is a father of 3 and husband of 1, living in Nashville, TN.

Consider the huge and complex dance:

The universe is so incredibly big many scientists believe it doesn't even have an end. Our small, finite minds cannot comprehend such a thing. Our minds don't register endlessness to anything. We cannot fathom the enormity of what we know or guess is there.

Space and spatial bodies are so large the measurement of light-years is used. A light-year is simply how far light travels in one year. Light travels at 186,000 miles per second. One year's worth of those seconds comes to almost 6 trillion miles. Well, the average galaxy is about 1,500 to 300,000 light-years. That's huge!

There are hundreds of billions of galaxies in the universe. Each of these galaxies contains hundreds of billions stars. In addition, they contain lots of other bodies and substances. We live in the Milky Way galaxy, which is a spiral galaxy. That means it has several arms coming out from a hub and it looks like it is spiraling like a whirlpool. It is about 100,000 light years in diameter.

We live relatively close to the edge of this whirlpool in a minor arm called the Orion Spur. Our Solar System lies on the outskirts of this arm. For the size of the galaxy, our Solar System seems really small. Scientists estimate the Solar System is between 7,348,981,944 and 9,320,567,882 miles in diameter. Within this expanse are a number of familiar bodies: the Sun, the planets, moons, comets, asteroids, and meteoroids.

One of these nine planets is Earth—our Earth. As far as we know, it is the only place in the universe that sustains life. At this point in time, there are about 7 billion people inhabiting the earth. These 7 billion people are spread throughout 195 countries on 7 continents. Zoom to your continent. Zoom to your country. Zoom to your city. Zoom to your street. Zoom into your house, dorm, or apartment. We have come to you.

This is a very, very, very brief description of the universe. Yeah, we are a teeny-tiny part of it all. In essence each one of us is a speck on a speck (the world) on a speck (the Solar system) on a speck (the Milky Way galaxy) on a speck (that's right, the endless universe is a speck in the mind of God). We are less than nothing, but the sovereign God who is the omnipotent Creator of the universe, the divine choreographer of this great complexity yearns to have a personal, intimate relationship with you. You! He is the endlessness beyond the endlessness who cared for you before you were born, who cares about every aspect of your present life, and who wants to be forever with you after death.

...Uh, Did I mention this is the God of the universe? Sometimes it seems we forget that part. We are mere specks and know so little. As mere, selfish specks we do not even deserve His attention. For some reason He gives it. For some reason He cares for our lives—both this and the next. How is this not reason for a greater joy and boldness? The God behind the endlessness is at work in you!

Ben Plunkett is a writer from Pleasant View, Tennessee.

It might be advantageous for an individual to consider the misery and torment of hell, particularly if the result was a determination not to enter its gates. But, just taking note of that tortuous scene will not prevent it becoming man's final destination. A more beneficial contemplation is the internal conflict and struggle that takes place inside one's heart due to the sinful nature inherited from our original parents, Adam and Eve.

Thinking can be a healthy process because our thoughts produce actions and our actions denote the person we have become, providing a catalyst for change. Since man began his long march toward infinity, the need for change has been apparent. Driven from the dwelling place provided by his Maker, man has been on an endless search for purpose and meaning, encompassing a quest for happiness and contentment. But there is a problem—sin and the separation it has caused between man and his Creator. It is this great gulf dividing God and man that we are to think on, to consider. Some way we must manage to reach across, to get to the other side, but what can man do?

What can man do? Absolutely nothing! God has already done what is required. Before God spoke the heavens and the earth into being, the thought of man and his need for redemption were uppermost in God's mind. God had created man, in His image, for the sole purpose of fellowship, for companionship. Man would be unique, superior to the animal and plant life. He would reason; he would think; he would make decisions; he would have freedom of choice. And in that freedom, man fell. Thereafter followed God's plan to redeem man back to Himself. And that plan embodied the incarnation of the Son of God, Jesus. Only the infinite mind, only the infinite thought processes of an omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent Creator could conceive the remedy for sin without violating His holy and righteous character.

God did not meditate on the internal struggle caused by sin within His own heart. He focused His thoughts, His mind, upon the inner struggle between man and his sinful nature, and produced a way for man to become reconciled to his Creator-God. You might say He was the original Thinker.

Dianne Sargent is managing editor at Randall House.

David and I will be discussing this on this week's podcast.

We look forward to reading what you think!

I grew up in the south, where "chivalry" rules all relationships. I don't simply mean that men act as gentlemen—the Southern Chivalry teaches men act as gentlemen because women are incapable of taking care of themselves, let alone contributing anything to a relationship. I found that women were seen as the submissive member of the relationship. The men make all of the decisions. The men decide when a relationship starts, what happens in the relationship, and seem to dictate where the relationship is going. Women who make any kind of move are seen as loose and inappropriate. I have watched women give up their hopes and dreams for their husbands. They give up everything to be married.

I'm not talking about the marriages with "traditional" gender roles. Many healthy relationships have the man as the breadwinner and the woman sitting at home, contributing to the relationship by keeping the house her husband provides. I don't have a problem with homemakers at all. If that is what you want to do, then go ahead and do it. There isn't a problem with that. I am talking about women in my life who have repeatedly given up their dreams for their husbands until not only do they see themselves as a little less than human—their husbands come to adopt the same view.

On the other hand, I have known women who value themselves entirely over their husbands. They treat their husbands like they are little kids incapable of accomplishing anything. Men are seen as children and women are seen as the responsible ones. This seems to be the view growing in popularity in our culture. Almost all relationship on TV work this way—the women have an extra child in their home and call him "husband." If someone makes a stupid mistake, it's the man, and it's up to the woman to find time between her two jobs, taking care of her kids, and doing all the housework to fix the problem.

I think both sides are wrong. We are called to submit to one another in love. That means both submit to each other. It is a relationship of equality. We should value one another's dreams as much as the other person. While I don't mind having a door held for me, why can't I in love hold the door for another? If we as a church truly believe in equality, then we need to have that in our relationships.

Stephanie Malcolm lives in Mission, Kansas with her husband Steve. Together, they attend the Nazarene Theological Seminary.

Brink: Tell us a little about your upbringing.

Tim: People are sometimes surprised to know that I was home-schooled. Actually, all of the kids in my family were [home-schooled]. I think it made us closer and learn to appreciate each other more. We're all very close friends and I think this was a large part of that. 

Brink: Could you tell us a little about the time you received Christ?

Tim: When I was six years old, I recognized that I was a sinner and accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior because He died for my sins. 

Brink: I've read that your parents are missionaries. Where are they ministering and how long have they been serving?

Tim: My parents moved to the Philippines in 1985 when my dad started a being a missionary there. I was born in 1987 there. My family lived there until 1990. Through his ministry he's trained national evangelists who are over there. About 40-something of them run medical clinics and churches over there. We also have an orphanage with 50 orphans.

Brink: Where is the most difficult stadium to play?

Tim:  The Swamp for a visiting player

Brink: What is on your iPod?

Tim: Kenny Chesney, Tom Petty, Jimmy Buffett, Neil Diamond

Brink: If you were on a desert island and could take only 3 movies, what would they be?

Tim: Braveheart, The Shawshank Redemption, Remember the Titans

Brink: Superman or Batman?

Tim: Superman

Brink: So I hear Superman wears Tim Tebow pajamas.

Tim: Ha ha, I've heard that one—some of them can be pretty funny.

Brink: What are you reading right now?

Tim: Tony Dungy's book, Quiet Strength.

Brink: How do you stay grounded?

Tim: I am fortunate to have family members, coaches and teammates around who can help me stay focused on the right things for us to be successful. For me, every day includes four things: God, family, academics and football, in that order.

Brink: You have such a great testimony. To what do you attribute you keeping your faith in Christ while being in the public eye?

Tim: Because of my faith, I receive a lot of requests to speak to different organizations (Tim has received 200+ since arriving at UF from different religious groups, youth groups and school across the Southeast). I like to do as many as I can. This past summer I had the opportunity to speak at the state prison in Union County. I got to get up and preach. The people there don't have a lot to look forward to or a positive outlook on things. I told them everyone looks at you like you are nothing and I told them that they are no different than I am except they made a bad choice and that doesn't make them any worse of a person and God doesn't love them any less. I let them know because of their actions there are consequences, but God wants them to go to heaven. There were people in there for all sorts of things like murder, homicide and drug lords. I saw these guys break down and cry. I gave them an invitation to accept Jesus Christ and change the way they were living. In the two prisons I spoke at, 195 guys came forward. I held their hands and prayed with them. The security guys told them they weren't allowed to get close to me, but I wasn't worried about it. I felt like I was doing what God wanted me to do so it was safe.

Brink: The majority of young adults leave the church after they get out of high school and attend a secular university. What do you think could be done to remedy this?

Tim: Religion can be something that is a matter of personal choice so I don't think it's a question of remedying this situation.

Brink: What do you think is the biggest obstacle Christians face in trying to share their faith?

Tim: I can't speak for everyone but each person has their own opinions how their faith should be shared and can choose to express themselves in different ways. I try to work hard to share my faith with others.

Brink: What do you want to be doing in 20 years?

Tim: The Philippines are pretty special to me. Every year in high school up until college I'd be part of a group my dad would take there. After football, I'd like to be involved again in that in some way. It is a great experience. We go into medical clinics, hospitals, prisons, market places and schools. You preach and help out. We go to the orphanage and a lot of things like that. It's a great experience. I love going every year and I can't wait until I go back. I'm looking at trying to go back this upcoming Spring Break, but it is definitely in my plans for after football. When you come back, you're grateful for everything that God's given you and you see how blessed you are.

This interview originally appeared in the pilot issue of The Brink magazine in the Fall of 2008.

1. You Will Change

No matter how much you loved or hated high school, college is a completely different ballpark. You learn more, you learn to think differently, and you begin to interact with people differently based on how your perceptions are changing. It may happen so gradually you won't even notice the changes until you graduate, but you will change. For better or worse, no one leaves the college experience unmarked. Just be vigilant to ensure the changes you're going through are the changes you want.

2. The People at Home Will Not Change

When you go home, it will be apparent how much you've changed and how much everyone else hasn't. Your parents will still want to treat you the same way they did when you were still living at home. When you go to church, they'll still treat you as though you're incapable of crossing the street without someone holding your hand. The people you knew in high school won't really care or understand about your experiences in college, and you won't be able to relate to their new job at the convenience store and their new baby at home. It will be easy to feel superior, but your path isn't necessarily better. Sometimes the high school sweethearts who marry at 19 and take over the family auto business do better and are happier than the college graduate.

3. Go to College to Learn to Think

Don't just go to college to learn. You can do that at your local library. It's probably what you were avoiding to do all through high school. The information you take away from college isn't nearly as important as the thought processes you learn. You must learn to think critically, even though not all your professors really want you to. Recognize when a single professor presents a single textbook as the single authoritative view and learn to dig deeper. Learn to explore all the possibilities. That's really what writing all those tedious papers is all about—assimilating knowledge and digesting it rather than simply parroting what other people say on a short test.

4. It's All About Relationships

As far as relating to your peers is concerned, college is like a giant orphanage. Depending on your college, dozens or thousands of people of a similar age are tossed together in close quarters with no parents and very few overseeing "adults." You'll live together, eat together, learn together, and play together. As a result, the relationships that are formed are much more intense than you've formed before, much more similar to siblings than friends. You'll probably either love or hate your roommates and suitemates. While you may vary between the two extremes, you probably won't be "lukewarm" very often. Things may be slightly less intense between you and your classmates, but if you're in a small school, you'll see the same classmates quite often as you choose a major and move into upper-level courses. You'll very likely even relate to your professors differently than you've ever related to your teachers.

5. Take It for What It Is

Enjoy the experience. While you may not feel it's the best time in your life while you're there, looking back, you'll realize how important this time in your life is. Take in everything you can and enjoy college for what it is rather than looking ahead, because the truth is, a college degree isn't necessarily an instant passport to success. If your sole reason for going to college is to make tons of money when you graduate, you'll probably be disappointed and you certainly won't enjoy this time in your life. But you will better yourself, regardless of whether it pays off in money. So relax and enjoy the ride.

And, really, don't buy your textbooks from the campus bookstore.

Tanya Carden is a freelance writer and editor. She lives in South Carolina with her husband Steve.

When I was 21, a friend of mine got a group of us together and challenged us to write a list of 25 things we wanted to do in our lifetime. I've been dreaming about the future for a long time. Oddly, now that the "future" is here, I can barely remember most of what was on that list.

A few things still come to mind though: Take a hot air balloon ride, buy and refurbish an old house, start my own business, and write a book. It's clear a lot of the things on my list were what I wished for at the time, not what I really thought I could, or should, do. But not everything fell into that category. That last one—write a book—stuck with me. It was something I really wanted to do, or at least be able to say that I did. I'm not sure I believed then that I had what it takes to actually write a whole book—I lacked the persistence, the know-how and most importantly, the idea. What did I have to say that warranted 200 pages? But the concept intrigued me.

I think a lot of people make lists like that. There's even a Web site—mydream.tv—that catalogs people's dreams. Things like "tour Europe by car, invent something to improve the world, climb a major mountain, open my own restaurant, adopt a child, live a healthy life" and so on.

What are your dreams? Have you ever been in a classroom, a church service, a walk in the woods, or your quiet time and had a strong sense of His leading to pursue something bold? Have you had that distinct impression that tells you "this is what I was created to do"?

Dreams are powerful motivators. They inspire us to take risks, to push beyond our limits and to keep trying when we fail. And failure is no small part of the process of achieving dreams. But you have to be willing to let it shape you.

Like Joseph, the famous Old Testament dreamer, I had a lot of lessons to learn before any of my dreams could start coming true.

Joseph the Faithful Dreamer

"Listen to this dream I had," Joseph said to his brothers and then proceeded to tell them about his dream that implied he would rule over them one day. Needless to say, they didn't rally around his dream. Hardly. They tried to kill him. Only a sudden opportunity to sell him into slavery stayed their hand. Joseph wound up a servant in Potiphar's house.

When you already know how the story ends, it's easy to miss this point: Joseph was the favorite son of a rich and set-apart patriarch. No doubt he'd heard Jacob tell how God had singled their family out to become a great nation. I imagine Jacob lavished praise on Joseph, indulging his own dreams, "My favorite son, you will be the father of this great nation." And now Joseph was in bondage, far from his adoring father, forced to do work in a pagan land. He had every right and plenty of opportunity to be sullen, bitter and vengeful. He didn't know if he'd ever get out of Potiphar's house. He probably thought he'd never see his friends or family again. As far as he could tell, his life was over. Yet he was faithful.

Through his faithfulness, Joseph gained a trusted position in Potiphar's house. But this wasn't his dream. And it didn't last long anyway, because Potiphar's wife—failing to tempt Joseph into bed—falsely accused him, causing him to end up prison.

Even though Joseph did the right thing, prison was a step backwards. But he was still faithful. Of course, being the go-to guy in a prison wasn't Joseph's dream, but it was the assignment at hand in which to be faithful. While in prison, Joseph interpreted a dream for the Pharaoh's cupbearer, foretelling his imminent release and return to high service. The cupbearer promised he would remember Joseph. But he didn't. That happens. You can be faithful and still have peers and supervisors fail to do their part.

Two years passed while Joseph faithfully served in the prison. Eventually, the Pharaoh had a dream no one could interpret—and the cupbearer remembered Joseph.

God gave Joseph the interpretation and his insight on the years of famine ahead prompted the Pharaoh to elevate him all the way to second place in the kingdom. This was an unbelievable reversal of fortune for someone who had been languishing in prison. But this wasn't Joseph's dream. Even though he had a great title, wealth, and public honor, that wasn't God's ultimate plan.

This is key to remember because titles, wealth, and public honor can be a major distraction as we follow the dreams God gives us. Keeping in mind how much one richly ornamented jacket went to Joseph's head back when he was a kid, it's not hard to imagine him squandering such riches had he not endured the breaking and refining of his life in captivity. Without the daily tests of his character he'd endured, Joseph probably wouldn't have been much use to Pharaoh, the nation of Israel, or the future Messiah.

Faithful in Little

Where are you in the process of achieving your dreams? It would be nice if we could know in the moment that this painful rejection, that embarrassing failure, this boring and tedious assignment, that overlooked accomplishment, are all part of God's grand plan. But we can't. At the time those things happen, it doesn't feel at all like preparation for something big. It just feels awful. What we can do is follow the modeling of Joseph: keep dreaming and be faithful in little.

In the parable of the talents, Jesus praises the man who received two talents and the one with five. Both took efforts to multiply what they had been given, and about them their master said, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!"

Faithfulness today with whatever you currently have to work with is the path God calls you to take. How you do with a little responsibility will affect how much more responsibility you'll get. That goes for the job you're in right now, as well as for any internship, mission trip, volunteer work, or freelance assignment you might take on. If you'll handle each responsibility by faithfully meeting needs and doing your work as unto God, He will faithfully guide you to the next step along the way to realizing the dream He placed in you.

There were times when I was still learning how to write professionally that rejection was almost more than I could bear. I'd get another "no" or "not yet" from a potential publisher and walk away from the keyboard with thoughts of not returning.

Writing is hard work. To hear that what you've written isn't good enough is deeply personal. It's in those moments that I had to decide: give it up for something easier or press on. But every time I went back to the computer, hit the delete key and started over, the results were better than before. It was always worth the extra work.

The lesson: Be faithful in the little things and bigger things will follow. The hard work of writing has been well worth the process. That dream I had of writing a book? It's finally coming true, 16 years later. My first book will be released in January.

And now for that hot air balloon ride....

Candice Watters is the author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen (www.helpgetmarried.com) and founder of Boundless.org (www.boundless.org).

Copyright 2009 Candice Watters. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

She finally answered. She sounded awful. I feared the worst. I knew I hadn't made the effort to check in with her like I should have. I immediately regretted not being more available. The second thing she said to me after hello was, "Steph, I messed up." I knew exactly what she meant.

Honestly, I wasn't shocked. How terrible is that? To suspect the worst only to have it confirmed. I was so very sad for everyone involved, knowing that the actions she chose were going to bring her even more heartache than what she was trying to rid herself of. Suddenly, to me, she was different. When she made the choices she did, every memory we had shared together suddenly seemed different. I wasn't really sure who she was or if she ever was the person I knew her to be.

What do you say when people disappoint you? How do you respond?

I thought I would be angry. I thought I would yell, and tell her she knew better. I wanted to tell her she could lose it all. But something else happened. I just listened. And cried with her. And listened more.

She knew what she did was wrong. She knew she put her relationship with everyone she loved on the line. She knew she wasn't owed forgiveness. She knew her life could change. She knew my opinion of her might change. But she owned up. She apologized to everyone involved. She is working on it.

In talking with some mutual friends about it later with her permission, I found so many saying, "I just can't trust her," "I don't know how to be her friend," "I don't know who she is anymore." I found people turning on her. They might not admit it, but they ran. Like she was infectious. Like her bad decisions were contagious.

I can't judge anyone. We all deal with hurt, anger, and disappointment in our own ways. But I couldn't help but think: isn't this just so very typical of "Christians." The very people who expect and put their faith in the principles of love and forgiveness and mercy are the first to revoke those gifts when it is us who feel wronged. Once, years ago, I heard my pastor, David Foster, say that the Christian army is the only army in the world that shoots its wounded. That statement has resonated with me and changed the way I view people who go through hard times or make what I would think are bad choices.

As Christians, we say we want our churches to be for people who need to know that God loves them and wants to be active in their life. Does that only apply to new converts? Do our churches and our relationships and our availability to help exists only for people who are not already "one of us"? I would say no. I think we are terrible at forgiving. We shoot people when they are down. Run when they need us. We write people off as no longer able to be a part of God's plan after they stumble.

We have to fix this mindset. We have to remind ourselves that we are every day in need of forgiveness. That everyone is worthy in God's eyes because of what Christ has done. Historically and biblically, those most used by God had massive screw-ups, did horrible things, and were once at a point where they could have been counted out. Why doesn't that mindset still apply today? Can we help those around us pick themselves up? Encourage them? Remind then that their present state when they fall doesn't have to be their defining moment.

My friend was so heartbroken to tell me where she was in her life. All I can do is be a friend. Love her. Help her get the help she needs. Only by the grace of God am I not her, and I would want my friends to never give up on me. So, I refuse to give up on my friend, because I know that it is not the mistake you make that determines who you are, but what you do after that determines your worth. I know she can find her way back to God's plan. I hope we all can.

Several years ago, I was dating a man who actively pursued me for marriage. Just around the time that I warmed up to the idea of marrying him, he changed his mind, and in my opinion was very insensitive about the whole situation . . . I've worked to forgive him, but when I let go of my anger toward him, my mind just drifts to wanting the dating relationship back.

This is all complicated by the fact that he has recently been trying to contact me. Usually after he contacts me, I end up daydreaming about marrying him—though he never mentions marriage and has said that he no longer has romantic feelings for me. My problem is that I don't know how to interact with him as a "friend" and keep my heart in the right place.

More recently, I've been spending time with a different man. For much of January and all of February we have gone out nearly every weekend, and he called me regularly. Then, he admitted to me that he is still somewhat involved with his ex-girlfriend—a woman he had considered marrying—and he is deliberating whether that relationship can/should be salvaged.

So—I severed the relationship with him as well. He would still like to go out and have a "friendly" relationship—but I don't want to do that—for two reasons. (1) I am looking/hoping/praying for a husband, and I don't think that hanging out with men who are not free for marriage is the way to get a husband—and (2) I honestly don't know how to keep my feelings at bay when interacting with a guy that I can seriously consider as husband material.

In the case of this most recent guy, we really did have a friendly relationship—it wasn't overtly romantic, but he is definitely someone I could consider as a husband. He wants to continue to spend time with me, and there is a part of me that would like to spend time with him. Moreover, it seems like a shame that I'm missing out on his friendship and companionship simply because I can't keep my feelings toward him in the appropriate space for "friends."

I feel as if I am right to limit my contact with these men considering my runaway emotions and lack of ability to interact well in that fuzzy space between "just friends" and "committed romantic relationship." Still, I just feel like my runaway emotions are keeping me from having two friends. What should I do?

REPLY

My inbox is full this week of letters from women like you wondering how they can hold on to their good friendships with men who've recently let it be known that friendship is all they're looking for. I can understand your desire to still spend time with one or both of these friends because up till now, they've filled an important role in your life.

By the time I "pulled a Ruth" on Steve, our friendship was intense. We spent time together daily and talked about all the most important and interesting things in our lives. We shared dreams about the future, prayed together and encouraged one another. It would have seemed impossible to walk away from all that.

But if he had responded to my "define the relationship" talk with, "I don't want anything more; just friendship," I would have had to walk away. Why? Because what I wanted even more than friendship was marriage. And I knew that if I kept nurturing our relationship, in a situation where he didn't want it to move beyond friendship, I would have given my best to something that was, in the end, a dead end.

Friendship is great. It can be a strong foundation for a romantic relationship. I even talk in Get Married about how women often overlook men in the "just friends" category as potential husbands. But if a friendship has stopped progressing from "just friends" to something more—especially if that male friend has come right out and said he does not want anything more (read: romantic)—then at that point, the friendship can go from promising to poisoning.

What does it poison? Opportunities for marriage to someone else.

The temptation is to hold on to the friendship, agreeing that it won't ever become anything more, even when you secretly hope it will. Why? Because it's hard to let a relationship you've invested so much in go. Because it means you'll have to start from scratch with someone else. Because it may mean some lonely weekends without a pal to hang around with. But it's worth it if it means you're staying on track for getting married someday. A pal is nice. But if you're called to marriage, a husband's better.

And I know from my own experience that when you spend all your time with your best male friend, it's highly unlikely that any other man will pursue a date with you. Whether he intends to, your male friend is in effect taking you out of circulation in the market of eligible women. He's also likely putting wear and tear on your heart. Both lack integrity and amount to defrauding you.

Again, he may not be doing all this on purpose, but regardless of his motives, the outcomes are the same: You're not in a good position to marry well.

And for your part, you're likely relating to him as you hope to relate to your husband someday. Even if your interactions remain physically platonic, it's unlikely that as a relationally-wired woman, you'll be able to keep from some level of emotional intimacy. And that's not a good thing.

In "Just Friends" Scott Croft wrote,

No matter how clearly one or both of you have defined what's happening as "just friends," your actions are constantly saying "I enjoy being with you and interacting with you in a way that suggests marriage (or at least romantic attraction)."

The simple reality (of which most people are aware, whether they admit it or not) is that in the vast majority of these types of relationships, one of the parties involved either began the "friendship" with romantic feelings for the other person or develops them along the way. Either way, that person is now hanging on to the "friendship" in the hope of getting something more despite the "clear words" from the other person that he or she wants nothing beyond friendship.

Maybe you are giving your emotions free reign. In that case, pray for stability and clear-headedness. But keep in mind that none of us interacts well in that fuzzy space. And that fuzzy space in your situation exists largely because the men in question are asking you to give them what they have no right to seek: namely, intimate friendship. What they desire is best had in the context of a loving, serving, godly marriage. They are selfish and sinful to seek it anywhere else. As are you.

Stop settling for a counterfeit with men who've already said clearly that they're not interested in you for marriage. Let those "friendships" go lest they block your progress toward marriage even further.

I pray God will embolden you to do so.

Blessings,
Candice Watters

Candice Watters is the co-author with Steve Watters of Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies (Moody, January 2009) and author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen. Copyright 2009 Candice Watters. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

Remember Solomon? Now there was a smart guy! At the beginning of Solomon's reign God gave the new king the chance to request whatever he wanted. God would have given Solomon anything! He requested only wisdom in governing his people (1 Kings 3:8-9). God was so pleased He made Solomon the smartest, wisest man in the world (1 Kings 4:32-34). During his reign, people came from all over the world to hear him expound his wisdom and knowledge.  Yes, Solomon was a very busy, very involved scholar.

There is debate as to whether or not Solomon is the author (or an author) of Ecclesiastes. It is certain the writer of Ecclesiastes had a Solomon-like passion for study, knowledge, and wisdom. We can know, then, that this person knew what he was talking about when he said in Ecclesiastes 12:12 much study wearies the body.  (Some versions say "flesh.") He (or they) wanted us to know study is a mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual thing.

To understand what is meant in this verse, we need to look at it in the whole context of the book. Whoever wrote Ecclesiastes lived a privileged, scholarly life. During his life he sought to find meaning in all sorts of places: sex, work, politics, friends—and academics. He came to the conclusion that it is all meaningless. Humans think humans are wise. We think human knowledge and understanding is enough. It isn't. We trust too much on ourselves on figuring out everything.

Yes, of making many books there is no end and much study wearies the body—boy, does it ever weary the body. But is it meaningless? Is there a point to my tiring myself out like this?

Wait, Ecclesiastes wasn't finished after that verse. In the final two verses the writer of Ecclesiastes came to a conclusion: The only true meaning in life is to worship God and obey Him. Why? Because He is the creator of all knowledge, because He will come to judge every ignorant person and every scholar alike, because He will one day expose all good and evil to the light. Yes, it is pointless to exhaust your mind and body in pursuit of anything if that object is an end in itself. That is meaningless. It is meaningless if God is not in it.

Much study can get really tiresome. Sometimes you may grow disillusioned with it. Rest your heart and mind in God. Learn through God. Let Him be your meaning.  He is where true wisdom is found.

Ben Plunkett is a writer from Pleasant View, Tennessee.

He just does not understand why I would rather text him than call him. He'll call me and leave a voice mail. I eventually check it and text him back. He texts me back and says, "Call me." So I finally call him. He asks me a question like "Are you and Lynsey (my wife) coming to dinner Sunday?"

I'm thinking, "Why didn't you just text me that question?"

He's thinking, "Why don't you just answer your phone?"

We just don't get each other sometimes.

My dad and grandpa are different too. Dad spent a lot of time trying to explain to my grandpa that just because he was talking to someone long distance didn't mean he had to talk louder. I don't think my dad's explanation really worked.

My dad and my grandpa didn't get each other sometimes.

Generations are different.

I read this morning in Psalm 119:90 that "the faithfulness of God is extended to every generation."

God extends His faithfulness to every generation, yes, but the part that really stuck out to me was that every generation can understand the faithfulness of God. Twentysomethings get the faithfulness of God. So does Gen X. So do the Baby Boomers. So do those who came through the depression.

My brother Josh once video-taped my grandpa praying. They were on a farm in Missouri where it hadn't rained in a long time. The farm needed rain or else they were going to lose their crops. So grandpa and some others (including my dad and brother) went to the farm to pray for rain.

Josh zoomed in on grandpa as he was praying. His face was so intense. The funny thing is, I don't remember him asking God for rain. All I remember him praying was thanksgiving to God for His faithfulness. He gave God thanks becaue He had always provided for them and he knew God was still God and that He would not turn His back on His people. He was overjoyed at the faithfulness of God. That was his prayer.

I really don't know anything at all about farming other than you need water. But I understood what grandpa meant when he prayed and thanked God for His faithfulness. I got it. There were 2 or 3 generations between grandpa and I, and I still knew exactly what he was talking about.

Psalm 119:90 is exactly how you bridge the gap between twentysomethings and older generations--by focusing on God. Everyone connects with the attributes He has because everyone has an intrinsic desire for the things of God--holiness, faith, truth, love, mercy, faithfulness, justice, purity.

God is the bridge in the generation gap.

In the small town in the south where I did most of my growing up, the white population made up at least 90 percent. My exposure to a minority culture was obsolete. I knew one view, one culture, one way. When my family moved to another small southern town, I was exposed to more differences, though the minorities represented were still very small. For the first time in my life I met people who were Catholic, Muslim, and Hindu. I am sad to say my lack of exposure led me to approach these differences with fear and questioning.

The shift of thought that made such a huge difference in my life was when a woman in my church began bringing her grandchildren (who were bi-racial) to our church. I’m sad to say, this was questionable in our circle back then. I remember talking with my mom about the situation. It was then that she said something that changed my thinking from that day forward: "What difference does it make if they are black, or white, or yellow? Don't we send money overseas to support missionaries trying to reach these same kinds of people? How is that any different than being missionaries to the people we come into contact with every day?"

That tiny conversation has stuck with me to this day.

Today, as I look around the room at the women with whom I share my life, I am not surprised at the amount of differences amongst us. Some of us are pastors’ daughters who have all taken very different directions concerning the faith we were taught growing up. Another is a former Catholic who married a Jew, who now practices Buddhism. One is a very devout Catholic who is steadfast in her views. Two are searching, also brought up in Protestant households, but unsure as to where "religion" or "spirituality" fit in to their lives. I have friends who are Taoist, Hindu, Muslim, and nothing at all. This is a snapshot of any group of young people across America. This is our culture. This is the world we live in. I am grateful for the fact that, while others around me are different and believe differently, we can all teach each other important lessons.

Some people would say I should not socialize with these people. I need to find strength from people of my own faith, they say. That is true to some degree. I do have a wonderful set of Christian friends who I depend on greatly. However, I feel my greatest impact could be made with these women and their husbands that my husband and I socialize with who do not believe exactly as we do. I like that when we discuss religion, we don't always agree. It gives us a chance to sift through our differences and explain to one another why we believe what we believe. It challenges us to know our theology better. It begs us to be strong and not surrender or compromise our beliefs.

I find it interesting that so many Christian people I know only expose themselves to others who believe exactly as they do. If your practice is to only associate with people who believe exactly as you do about every issue, at the end of the road, you will only be left with yourself.

I am so tired of Christians living a life of fear. Afraid to speak up. Afraid to be labeled. Afraid to be associated with things or people who are different. So afraid of becoming “of the world” that they are no longer “in the world” either.

Please don’t put me off as someone who doesn’t care about holy and blameless living. It’s just that I am burdened for my friends. I pray for them daily. But they don’t tear me down because they have different beliefs. As a matter of fact, they make my faith stronger. They challenge me to know my beliefs and my God more than some of my Christian friends do. I look at the way they handle crisis and failure, and yes even blessings and joy, and it reminds me that my outlook is different. My hope is different. The way I respond to life and death is different. And I think they notice. My God is bigger than our differences and the love I show them may be the only glimpse of His love they see. So in regard to being holy, if I don’t spend time with them, I’m not being blameless.

Personally, I’ve never felt “called” to be a missionary. I have the highest regard and respect for people who do, though. Some devote their entire lives to a different country and a different people. That’s really how it should be for every Christian. None of us are “at home” in the United States. We’re all citizens of another kingdom—the kingdom of God.

There are people of different colors and religions and ways of thinking in my circle. My husband and my contact with them might be the only contact they have with a believer of Christ. It is a huge responsibility and a huge privilege.

I hope we can all expand ourselves a little. Listen to another’s view, befriend a person who doesn't believe exactly as we do, be exposed to the way they live and where they come from. Meanwhile, be strong in your faith and represent Christ well. You may be the only representative they see. And both of you will be better for it.

For the most part, I can look at it as an adventure. Planning meals around coupons, hunting the best bargains, finding ways to stay healthy so my uninsured self doesn’t have to visit the doctor—it certainly tests your creativity and ability to improvise. Given our situation, you can probably imagine how resentful I can get when I feel God asking me to give to my neighbors.

How are we supposed to give to others when we’re stretched to the limit ourselves?

At first, we toyed with the idea of stopping our tithes, but even with our creative justification skills we were unable to reason that God only wants a portion of our excess wealth.

But that made it easy to fall into the next trap: feeling that our tithe was more than adequate and we had no need to give anywhere else. Let’s face it—tossing that ten percent into the offering plate can sometimes make our meals much leaner. However, God shook us out of complacency with the example of the woman in Luke 21 who gave the two pennies she had, which Jesus said was a greater gift than the vast amounts the wealthy gave because she gave all she had to give.

Don’t get me wrong. While I believe that sometimes God will ask you to give over and beyond your means, I also believe that, generally, we are to be prudent stewards of whatever we have, be it much or little. So when I’m barely scraping by and a college kid asks me for $150 for groceries, chances are I’m not going to fork over more money for groceries than we spend in two weeks. However, I do have recipes that make surprising amounts of food for the little money it costs. So I’ll invite my hungry friend over for dinner and pack up some leftovers.

But what about the church I attend? It’s going through some pretty rough financial times, and as much as we’d love to give more, we simply can’t. Handing over a recipe won’t do them much good. However, the church also runs a deli and coffeehouse during the week. Although I can’t give money, I can volunteer at the deli so they pay one fewer worker.
After all, your money cannot be that important to God. While it may be what makes the world go round, wealth is a hindrance. Jesus said it’s actually much more difficult for the wealthy to enter the kingdom of God (Luke 18:24), so why do we feel as though we would be better Christians if we could just make more money to donate to His cause?

In the end, it comes down to trusting God and His provision. While you can’t sit on your couch waiting for the mailman to deliver paychecks you didn’t earn, trust God to take care of you if you take advantage of the opportunities He gives. The main reason my husband and I are reluctant to give is we’d rather save those few extra dollars as insurance against some future catastrophe. And we do save what we can, but not if it interferes with our tithes or if we feel someone else needs it more.

My point is, rather than mourning or feeling guilty that you can’t give as much money as you’d like, find ways you can give. When you don’t have two quarters to rub together, find other ways to help. Lend a loving ear, a helping hand, the time you’re spending in front of a video game console. Give as God gave to you, and trust that He will continue to find ways to provide for you.

“You need to have more faith.”

That last statement gets me every time. According to many, Christianity and depression just don’t fit together. We think if someone’s depressed, he or she isn’t right with God.

That could not be any further from the truth.

In a world filled with so much negativity and pain, it is no wonder many people become depressed. For most people, this depression is easily controlled without becoming dependent on therapists and medication. But for others, myself included, depression is a daily struggle, leaving us no choice but to seek medical care. It’s a medical illness, not a spiritual one.

Someone once told me my faith wasn’t strong enough and that was why I was going through my horrible depression. And for a long time, I really did believe him and, as a result, felt even more hopeless. I thought maybe he was right. Maybe my faith wasn’t strong enough and that was why I was suffering.

It was only after tons of researching and soul searching that I realized how wrong he was. I began to dig into God’s Word and found comfort in the book of Job.

Man, I thought I had problems! But compared to Job, my problems seemed small—trivial even. Here was a man who had literally lost everything and yet continued to praise God through it all. He was told by all his friends and family to just give up. They told him to “curse God and die” (Job 2:9). But Job did just the opposite. He turned to God, praising Him.

I wish I could tell you that after my diagnosis I immediately turned to God to get me through it all. But I’d be lying. Truth of the matter is I became bitter. I couldn’t understand why God was allowing this to happen. I just wanted to be a normal college student who didn’t have to worry about taking medication every single day and could hang out with friends without fear of relapsing.

As I continued to fall deeper and deeper into my depression, I slowly began to alienate myself from everyone and everything; I even stopped going to church. In my mind, there just was no point in going. I felt God had abandoned me.
But one day something changed. My eyes were opened to the truth that it wasn’t God who abandoned me. I had abandoned God. Suddenly I was faced with the realization of losing everything I had worked hard for if I didn’t change my ways.

It happened so quickly and so suddenly that I realized church was the very place I needed to be if I wanted to win this fight with myself. I slowly got my life back on track and began taking the steps towards God’s loving arms.

I was a senior in high school when I was first diagnosed with depression. Eight years later, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. To this day I honestly believe I had been bipolar all along and was misdiagnosed in high school. Just ask any of my family members. They’ll tell you I was extremely hard to live with. My moods were all over the place and I couldn’t control them. I recall sometime during my junior year of college joking to my best friend that maybe I was, in fact, bipolar.
Who knew that a few years later, I would be told I was right?

I’m not telling you this to get you to feel sorry for me. In fact, please don’t.

I’m telling you this so you can get a better idea of what millions of Americans have to battle each day. But that’s not what is important. It’s how people handle their illness from day to day.

Imagine, if you will, the worst headache of your life. I’m talking about “can’t get out of the bed—unable to move—my head is going to explode” type of feeling. Now take that pain and double it. I battle this pain every single day. Mentally and physically. As do millions of other Americans.

The question is, how do we handle our illness? Do we retreat to our rooms and wallow in self-pity? Or do we step out on faith and place all of our troubles on God?

Me? I wallowed for the first few months. I had to force myself to get out of bed in the morning. I called in sick to work on days I couldn’t find the strength to get up. I bailed on my friends. On numerous occasions, I stayed in my room, curled up in a ball on my bed, and cried for hours.

I felt like no one understood me. No one seemed to want to understand me. I would get angry every time someone told me to “snap out of it.” I wanted to strangle them for thinking I wanted to be like this. Why would anyone want to feel this way?
When I rededicated my life to the Lord a few months later, I became a completely different person. At least that’s what I’ve been told by those who remained by my side even through the periods of darkness.

Truth is, I felt like a new person. I was smiling more. I was genuinely happy. I was getting my life back! And this time, I was allowing God to work through me. To this day, I know without a shadow of a doubt that God allowed me to go through that dark period in order to bring me back to Him.

I’m not saying I don’t have bad moments. I still struggle sometimes. I have my down days. But this time, rather than ignoring God’s tug at my heart, I turn to Him and allow Him to do His job. Because let’s face it—we’ll never be able to cope without Him.

As my buddies and I joked about what might happen and whom we wanted to kill, a small amount of fear began to inch its way into my mind. I couldn’t help but be scared, but as I mounted my 240B machine gun onto the gunner’s turret and the music roared in my ears, fear was replaced with anger. The air was thick and cool in the dark early morning hour. The four Humvees began to rumble as the diesel engines cranked up. My mind raced as I contemplated what might happen that day. Will I be hit by another IED or shot at again? I asked myself.

As we approached the gate of the base a cool wind blew in my face, teasing me. It won’t be cool for long, I thought. Stopping at the gate, we made final combat checks of our equipment. I removed the ear buds and loaded my machine gun. “We’re up,” the squad leaders exclaimed to the lieutenant. The lieutenant gave the signal, the gate opened, and a new day began in Iraq.

The trucks crept outside the gate as the sun began to pierce the sky. As we traveled into the streets of Baghdad my senses were stimulated by the ever-familiar pungent smell of trash and the sound of morning prayers being recited over the loudspeakers of the mosques. I liked being the gunner on the truck, although it was the scariest place to be; it was the most important but vulnerable position to enemy fire. We patrolled hour after hour, weaving in and out of neighborhoods and markets like a never-ending maze, stopping only to speak to the local people and conduct searches of suspicious vehicles and houses.

The day was beginning to grow hot and dangerous. I could feel the 140-degree heat forcing the sweat to bead up and stream down my face, a familiar feeling but one you never get used to. Gunfire was all around us now. It was not uncommon to hear gunfire in the distance. I wonder who is seeing some action right now.

As quick as a lightning strike, a burst of AK-47 gunfire rang out from a speeding car, hitting the front truck in our convoy. We sped up and began pursuit of the small car. My senses instantly peaked; my heart raced. After losing sight of the car we found it abandoned outside of a house. The decision was made to block off the area, surround the house, and search the houses in the blocked-off area.

The truck I was on was positioned on the corner of a main intersection. Beside my truck stood this little white sign with Arabic writing on it, just hanging there on a little pole about four feet from the ground. I gave no thought to the sign for it was of no interest to me.

My job was to ensure no one from that main road got near the area we were searching. As I stood diligently behind my weapon in the sweltering heat, I scanned the road and watched for anything suspicious or any sign of danger. The local people began deserting the street in front of me. I felt my muscles tighten up, for this could mean only one thing. Something was about to happen and they didn’t want to be around when it did.

I continued to scan the street for the enemy. We had been sitting there for over an hour, giving the enemy plenty of time to maneuver on us. Time seemed to drag. In an instant my worst fears were realized. I saw a flash, and dust kicked up about a quarter of a mile down the street. Before I had time to process what was happening, I heard the dreaded whistle of a rocket-propelled grenade coming right at me. Everything instantly slowed down; I felt like I was seeing it in slow motion. The RPG hit that little white sign and ricocheted off of it. It flew right over my head and blew up the building behind me. Instinct and training automatically kicked in. I yelled out over the radio, “RPG! RPG!” I immediately got down behind my weapon, and without giving it a second thought squeezed the trigger, unleashing hot lead down the street. In less than ten seconds it was over, and my body was shaking from the adrenaline overload. I tried to catch my breath and communicate what had happened as everyone moved to my position to back me up.

As things began to calm down and another unit went in pursuit of the shooter, I started to contemplate all that had just taken place. All at once I realized how God was working all around me. I looked down and saw that little white sign lying on the ground. The Lord positioned me and the sign in exactly the right spot to avoid a direct hit from the RPG. The chances of me surviving such a hit would have been slim to none. I knew two things at that moment. I knew that the Lord had given me a purpose for my life, and I was ready to accept His purpose.

That defining moment set in motion a fundamental change in my life. I got on my knees before God and cried out as I expressed my thanks for saving my life, as well as my need for Him in my life. I started to seek His purpose and make Him Lord of my life. I began to regain the wonderful loving relationship with God that had been neglected. God worked in an amazing way to accomplish amazing results in my life, and all it took was an RPG and a sign from God.

This is our generation.

You’ve heard stats like these before. The conventional methods of the church are not working because our generation is a whole different animal than the one that came before us. Our generation can be characterized in many different ways, but I think there are three things that most define what makes us different from the generations that have come before us. We are obsessed with appearance, we desire to experience real things, and we are extremely skeptical. To combat these things I see three more things emerging from Church leaders across America: Professionalism, Reality, and Lives Devoted to the Gospel. These ideas are slowly starting to spread across American Churches, and they are working.

If I asked anyone in our generation or any student in any church whether or not our culture, our generation, is obsessed with appearance, everyone would undoubtedly say yes, would they not? We see it everywhere from celebrity culture, to movies, to shows like Cribs and America’s Next Top Model. Pick up any magazine at Borders and you will see fashion tips and beauty secrets. The church is timing in on this idea. We have new church buildings and pastors that are in shape. We all wear nice clothes to church.

Some of you are sitting there wondering why what we look like is so important to reaching our generation. Let me help you see. Imagine if I was standing next to you talking about this very subject, and I was wearing jeans that had one leg ripped off at the knee and a shirt that was torn and sleeveless and three-year-old faded flip-flops. Unless I was talking about how to look homeless, none of you would take anything I said seriously. Why is that? It’s because we don’t trust people unless they look like they know what they are talking about. This has to be big for us, but it can’t be too big. Appearance without authenticity is nothing but a church fashion show. That is why these next two points are probably more crucial than the first.

I believe that our generation seeks reality. The TV shows of the 80s and 90s were characterized by fictitious families with fictitious problems. Full House, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and Seinfeld. You could jump in on any episode without seeing the ones that came before. That is what that generation wanted. We, however, want something different. We want shows like American Idol and Survivor. We want things that are real, and we want to see people live their lives out in front of us. Even the sitcoms today are based upon stories that feel real. You can’t just jump into an episode of 24, Lost, or even The Office. These shows are based upon a continuing story. Our generation doesn’t give value to things that don’t hold up practically.

Why do you think the hypocrisy of the church is such a big deal to our generation? The way they see it, if we believe something that even we can’t live out, it isn’t real at all. But some people out there are making it real. One of my favorite stories about evangelism comes from a book called Blue Like Jazz. The book is a biography of Donald Miller’s Christian life.
Donald goes to a school called Reed College, which is known as one of the most liberal schools in America. During the craziest weekend of school, the campus security blocks off the roads so that cops can’t come on campus and the whole school has a huge party with drugs, drinking, and sex. It was during this that Donald and the handful of other Christians on his campus set up a confessional booth in the middle of campus. Donald describes the situation as he was sitting in a chair in the booth when the first guy walked in and sat down. The guy asked if he was supposed to start telling Donald what he had done wrong. Donald shook his head “No, I’m going to confess to you.” So Donald asked forgiveness for the church’s sins, his own sins, and the sins of his friends.

He was completely real with the people that came in that night. While only a handful of people wanted to know more about Donald’s faith, you can bet that not a single person walked away that night with a negative view of Christianity, and for any of you that have tried to witness to a friend, that is a huge step in the right direction. Being real with people can change their entire perception of us.

Our generation has an eye on everything that the church does. Things like the Internet with sites like YouTube don’t allow anyone to get away with faking it. There are tons of videos on YouTube about the hypocrisy of those in power. I was so bored one day that I watched a lot of them. It made me realize how famous people and institutions in our world can’t really hide anything, so if they are not at or above par at all times, someone will find about it, it will inevitably end up on YouTube, and next thing you know, the whole world knows about it and they’re discussing it on the E! channel. We as Christians face this same scrutiny. Our ideas cannot just be ideas to us. We have to live lives devoted to the gospel.

One of my favorite books that I have ever read is called The Irresistible Revolution. I’ve had many discussions about it in the past because of how radical it is, but I think so highly of it because it is about a man who doesn't just take care of his community. He lives with his community. He sees the stories of the Bible lived out every day of his life. I experienced this same thing when I was on a mission trip with my school last spring to San Diego. David, the leader of the community we were with, was talking to me one day and I asked him how much it took to run the community that he led. Since all of the people in the community spent every day giving out food and working with the less fortunate, none of the people that lived there was bringing in an income. He told me that it took $15,000 a month to run the place. He said that they never, in over 10 years, had missed a payment! It all came in from somewhere. He certainly didn’t know where.

You see, when people live out their lives in pursuit of the gospel, something crazy happens—they start to see what they believe come to life! And I guarantee you that any twentysomething that sees it will be mesmerized. I’ve watched it happen. You know why? Because you can’t fake reality; you can’t hide it when God works. When Christians are real, people will notice. We don’t have to stand up and shout in people’s faces for them to notice us. It will happen without us trying.
Our generation is a hard group to reach, but we are reachable! When Christians are relevant, when they are real, when they live their lives devoted to the gospel, they won’t have to try to bring in the young un-churched. They will come running, looking for an opportunity to live lives that mean something, because that is what we all want: Churched or un-churched, we want to have lives of meaning.

Jesus was often condemned because He appeared to many to be spiritually contemptible. Conversely, the Pharisees were often honored because they looked holy and demonstrated great knowledge of the law. The Jewish people had come to revere this law over the God who gave the law. Steeped in such legalism, they automatically rejected anything they saw as remotely contrary to complete adherence to the law. They came to judge people based not on what God wanted, but on appearances. They judged based on their own selfish interests.

We too tend to judge people in this way. We too judge others according to appearances rather than by “righteous judgment.” Who are these “others”? What are they like? They are awkward. They are short. They are wrinkly. They are fat. They are plain. They are poor. They are smelly. They are ugly. They come in all shapes, colors, and sizes. The world of mankind revolves around appearance.

To an extent, appearances are important. It is important to present yourself in a respectable, modest, Christian way. Everything about our appearance and presentation finds a place in the minds of everyone we meet. However, there is a definite line we should not cross in being concerned with appearance. There is a special danger of basing our judgments entirely on appearance. Verbally, society takes a negative view of judging people based on appearance. However, what people say does not always translate to what they do. We may be spiritually repulsed by acting out of selfish, superficial judgments. Physically we’re drawn to such behavior. It is how the fallen minds of men work.

We do not have to be taught to judge based on appearance. From childhood, we are drawn to honoring what looks the most visually appealing. In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis noted that human beings judge each other by external actions, but God judges by their morality. Even the most moral of non-Christians tend to judge people on these external, outward actions. It is true that Christians have been made closer to God. However, we are never perfect while on this earth. We are still attached to these human bodies. The danger of judging based on appearance is a very present danger throughout our lives.

Even Paul freely expressed his own struggle to keep his body in line (Romans 7:7-25). The lesson of Paul is even Christians can fall into the danger of doing what we know we shouldn’t and not doing what we know we should. We know we shouldn’t judge people based upon appearance. We know we shouldn’t act based on those shallow judgments. However, that’s exactly what we do. We judge people before we even know them. We judge filtered through our own whims based upon how they look, what they do, and how they talk. The key phrase here is “through our own whims.” Christianity does involve judgment, but the judging is not to be based on our own feelings and thoughts. Follow the command of Jesus; follow the command of God; let your judgment be a righteous judgment.

The term religion is pretty vague. It’s too broad to rule out anything. A belief in a god. A system of beliefs. Attributing value to something. Basically whatever someone believes can be called a “religion.”

That fact serves as a starting point to the discovery of an ancient problem with not-so-ancient consequences. What some might not understand is that being religious has nothing to do with what people call religion these days. It’s become more about traditions, status, reputation, and repetition. This type of thinking has become so embedded into society that even those on the outside hold the church to those standards. Just like the Pharisees Christ rebuked throughout His ministry, we have added to the words of God in an attempt to make sure we don’t cross the line. Unfortunately, people associated with this have been called “religious.” Yet this has nothing to do with real religion. As a result, many are trying to throw out the idea of religion entirely. They think they can revolt from it in the name of humility, purity, and social justice. They renounce religion when all they need to do is understand it.

It’s not popular to be religious.

Religion has an important meaning according to the Bible. James 1:27 says three things about religion.

First, it says pure religion is only God’s concern. James began his discourse on religion by letting us know that God is the one concerned with it. No opinion of man, whether he’s a Catholic priest or a progressive youth pastor, has any bearing on the status of one’s religion. This mistake is the first step on the tragic road of religious misunderstanding. When we are doing something “religious,” its purpose is defeated if we are thinking about what someone else might think of us. Man’s opinion is irrelevant. We cannot further understand religion without understanding that our religious exploits are for God and for His evaluation alone. We have to be concerned with pleasing Him only.

After this, James gave two ingredients in the concoction he calls religion, and what they are might shock you. James said a truly religious person is characterized by both holiness and social justice. That’s right, James thinks we are not only to look after the purity of our hearts and actions, but also to see to the well-being of the “fatherless and widows.” We cannot understand religion if we don’t see a need to show the love of Christ to those who have fallen upon hard times. Granted, that means different things for different situations, but regardless of the situation, the church has failed in this part of religion. We live in a world where churches assume the people to whom they show benevolence should return the favor by faithfully attending the church. And when it does not happen, (which is most times) the church feels slighted, and the downfall of the operation begins. If we would instead allow ourselves to be motivated by a desire to obey, then God would be honored by our efforts and lives would be changed. But until we give up assuming that the broken people of this world should respond to our help with wholesome gratitude, we will not honor God in this area.

The other characteristic is not so hard to understand, so it seems. Holiness is something we conceptually agree upon as Christians for the most part. Yet, none of us have figured it out. There are many whose concept of holiness is actually legalism, and many rationalize all their unholy deeds in order to feel validated, not necessarily holy. But when we look at James’ interpretation of holiness in this tiny verse, we realize he is actually saying we are to be “unspotted from the world.” That means there should be no evidence that our lives are run in a manner similar to that of the rest of the world. That doesn’t mean we throw out our rock band t-shirts and sports jerseys, but that we actually keep ourselves unspotted from the world.

The “world” as it is meant in the Bible usually refers to that which is self-serving, God-ignoring, and Satan-empowering. In the Old Testament, Egypt was a type of “the world.” The world is typically spoken of as whatever is contrasted against God. Sometimes we mistake things of culture as things of the world, when really the selfish idolatry of our culture and the lack of a place for God in our lives are what we should eliminate.

When others look at you, they should see someone who is different than they are. We must live a life that without a word convicts the hearts of the observers. Some people apologize to me for using language in my presence just because I don’t use it and because they know what I am. I have never asked for that treatment, and I shouldn’t have to. If God is radiating in me, then people will see it without so much as a word from my mouth. If that is how we operate, then we are doing more than following rules. Our holiness will be shining a light to a dark, hurting world. At that point, we are following the Great Commission. And that is what religion is.

So if you want to avoid hypocrisy, adopt a World Vision orphan, donate blood to the Red Cross, or make an extra plate from your dinner table and take it to the old lady in your church struggling to make it on Social Security. Give the gift of social justice to those who never had a chance. Take your Bible to work and read it on your break. Give a hundred percent to your boss and don’t complain. Be the only one not participating in the conversations about the wild weekend. Let God convict the sin in the lives of others as they observe your life, not just as they hear you talk. Just be . . . religious. So I ask you, “Is religion really a waste of time?”  

Walking alongside the Sea of Galilee, Jesus stopped to watch as Simon and Andrew cast their nets. He called to them, “Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men.” The Scripture says that they immediately left their nets and followed Him.

The nets symbolized everything about those two men. They were fishermen; this was their livelihood, the way they paid their bills. It was their identity; who they were. But at the call of Jesus, both unhesitatingly dropped their nets, docked their boat, and got in step with Jesus. These men left behind all they had been previously and followed Jesus of Nazareth.

When Jesus calls us today, He asks us to do the same thing Simon and Andrew did—to leave all and follow Him. Maybe we do not have to change our occupation as those two did. That depends upon the role Jesus has for each of us in His kingdom’s work, but our decision to become a follower of Jesus Christ entails a complete surrender of who we are, our dreams and aspirations, as we give the Lord Jesus Christ first place in our lives.

Why would two fishermen willingly turn their backs on who they were to become something completely different? Why should you and I be willing to do that? Could it be because Jesus has made a better offer? How does the best this world has to offer stack up against what you have when you become a follower of the Son of God? How do you think fishing compared to eternal life? When Jesus calls you to come follow Him, lay aside whatever you’re doing and get in step with Jesus. You will become a fisher of men.   

Dianne Sargent is managing editor at Randall House Publications.

The sun’s rays blind me. My heart races as I grope my way forward. I can’t see; I begin to look for somewhere to go; some place to hide. But before I can crawl behind my wall, a hand reaches for mine. An arm goes around my shoulder and someone I know who loves me asks, “Are you ok?” And the flight impulse subsides and I turn and answer, “Yeah, I’m ok.”
Exposure gives place to a sense of abandonment. Although I chose to walk out from behind my walls, they left me. I’ve been abandoned. What once gave me security, comfort, and even a measure of contentment is no longer a part of who I am. Much like a toddler taking her first steps, I embark upon a journey that will require every ounce of courage, strength, and faith I can muster.

What is so hard about letting go, of stepping out from behind the walls put in place years ago in a desperate dash for survival? That’s what it comes down to—I simply wanted to survive. Instead of trusting God to take care of me, to provide for whatever I needed, and to set me on a new course in life, fear took control. Like a rat scurrying for its hole, I ducked behind my walls, throwing them higher and making them thicker each time someone or something threatened my safety or security. Instead of running to my Lord and Savior, instead of letting Him heal my heart, instead of making Him my fortress, my comfort, and my security, I chose to hide. I refused to trust. I was afraid.

According to 2 Timothy 1:7, God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind. All I had needed, even wanted, God had available for me. He is the God of all resources.

So why did I hide? I was afraid. Why was I afraid? I simply refused to let God do for me all He has ever wanted to do—empower me through His love to live a productive life for His glory. All I needed to do was let Him be God.

While those actions can be condoned or supported, I believe the impression that most resonated with me the most was the amount of passion I saw come from our generation, pouring out to support a particular candidate. From Twitter, to blogs, to Facebook statuses, I saw people our age come out to openly support and volunteer countless hours for the sake of a campaign. It amazed me the amount of pure raw passion they felt about their candidate.

Not just a candidate, but the issues for which their candidate stood. They were learned, educated, and informed about the policies of their candidate. They could defend their platforms. They could and, for the most part, did have intelligent conversations about the policies his or her candidate would support or enact if he or she was to come to power. They didn’t take someone else's advice or direction. They didn’t vote primarily along party lines. They chose for themselves. I heard cries of environmental concerns, the importance of the sanctity of life of the unborn, women’s rights, the support or abhorrence for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. They were passionate and committed to making their voices heard so their view may be supported.

All that has been over for a while and a new regime is in place. So, now what?

What is our role?
 
What does this mean for us, as Christians and as young adults?

It means all the fire and passion we felt trying to get our candidate elected can and should now be channeled for good. Presidents are leaders. All leaders have a team under them that makes them great or leads to their demise. Our choice is this: join the team and help make our world a better place, filled with Jesus’ influence, or sit on the sidelines. Show people there is a God who loves them and wants to be involved in their life or retreat to our homes and churches, only promising to pray for our leader.

That is our choice. While I always place a great deal of influence on conversations with God, I also realize He is expecting us to do something. Volunteer. Give of your time. Give of your gifts. And yes, give of your money. That means above and beyond your local gathering of believers. Obviously, first and foremost your volunteer efforts and monetary support should be designated to the local body you choose to worship with. If you aren’t doing that, you should begin there. But in Jesus’ day, He didn’t retreat to the temple hoping to influence from within the walls of His sanctuary. No, He entered the ugly world. The world with the sick and the sinful and the messy masses of people. He broke bread with them, invested in them, and made relationships that touched and changed people’s lives.

One of the biggest convictions I have felt throughout 2009 is the simple fact of how very blessed I am. In light of the bad economy, a mortgage crisis, turmoil in the Middle East, and poverty and famine in third-world countries, I am constantly amazed that I am privileged to live in a country that is free. Free to go to work each day and worship the God my soul craves for. Free to voice my concerns or support over a law or a policy. Free to disagree or agree openly with others around me. This realization has given me more of a sense of urgency to become more involved in cultural and society crisis—not just around the world, but all around me. Jesus called us, His sheep, to be involved. To clothe and care for the single moms, the orphans, the hungry, and the destitute.

As His followers, we are also called to do the dirty work. It isn’t easy. It takes effort. It takes investment in people. It can be time consuming and inconvenient. But it can also be the most rewarding and fulfilling thing you can do. As followers of Christ, we are not allowed to stand idly by and leave the government and the world’s leaders to their own devices. If we are truly concerned about the issues we so vehemently debated during the election, it is now our chance to do something about it.

Let me give an example. I heard many Christians chose their candidate over one huge issue—abortion. While the right-to-life issue is a top priority for me as well, I have to wonder, what if all the Christians who were so concerned about unborn children stepped up to foster or adopt a child or care for an unwed mother? Would this still be such an issue? Same goes for any hot-button issue. Is it really about the need of the issue, or is it just about winning a debate? If we as Christ followers left our pews and our life groups and our “fellowship times” and really entered the real world, what could we accomplish? If instead of eating out with our friends once a week we gave that money to a non-profit we believed was making a difference? If we looked past “those people” who are less fortunate than us to see a child of God that He loves and help them in their time of need, who could we help? I think we could change the world. At the beginning of a new phase, let’s commit to being involved. Let's commit to making a difference.

Either join the team or stay in your comfort zone. The choice is yours. It’s time to start using that passion for something that makes a real difference.

Society defines success by day-to-day jobs. And that’s how society judges us—by our job, our career, our income, our wealth. The more cash and objects we acquire, the more we are honored. Having a paying job is seen as primary; accomplishing something meaningful is secondary. Work has become more than a vehicle to support the family unit. Jobs have become status symbols. They have become institutions that delegate status by their very existence. Many are as devoted to them as to religions. Lost souls are seeking for something to give them lasting happiness. 

In the world’s view, money and career equals this happiness. Does it really? Does it really bring a true happiness? The pleasure that does ensue is a passing, synthetic happiness that masquerades as joy. However, real joy is not an actual result. Joy is only found in God, not in riches. The rich man who trusts in his riches for meaning is chasing after the wind. Jesus realized the additional hardship rich people had. He said it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God (Matthew 19:24). We continually seek after what is enough.

There is never enough. There is never a lasting contentment in anything. The only way to be even closely content in this world is to realize we’ll never be content with anything in it. We must realize that we do not belong to it. The burning, incessant desire we feel will never be entirely quenched until we enter heaven.

A lasting satisfaction is never reached on this plane. Eventually you are dissatisfied with everything. Why is that? The simple answer: We are all members of the human race. I ate breakfast this morning. I thoroughly enjoyed it. However, I know that satisfaction won’t last. In a couple of hours I will be hungry again and the cycle will repeat. After we have more, we want more and better more.

Kids yearn for new toys; not long after getting a desired toy they grow tired of it. Before you know it, it is lying forgotten and forlorn on the floor and they want something else. This is the cycle that continues throughout our lives. We are all grown-up children. We constantly want new toys. We want that exercise machine, that new car, that bigger house, that gadget that looks so enticing on the infomercial. More will never be enough. We get more, then we want more more, then more more more, then more more more more, and so on.

Welcome to life in the world. We have a choice: we can rush toward God or we can rush toward the world. If we choose God, we choose eternal satisfaction; if we choose worldliness, we choose temporal satisfaction. In essence, the temporal satisfaction of worldliness is an insatiable desire. The Bible has several meanings for the word world: the earth, the nations, and fallen mankind. The fallen mankind aspect is what we are referring to here. 

All men apart from God are failures—true success in life comes from God (Psalm 20:4; 1 Samuel 18:14; 2 Kings 18:7). Success is a blessing He bestows. David prayed for such a blessing. And he received such a blessing. David and Hezekiah are both described as being successful at whatever they undertook because God was with them. They were not successful because they were rich and powerful. The success here was defined by a full trust in God.

Lasting contentment via success comes only through seeking after the everlasting food of heaven. Working is a necessity. It is necessary to earn money so we can live. However, Jesus said that our whole intent should not be set on earthly food that spoils; it should be on heavenly food that satisfies for all eternity (John 6:27).

Working for God and the furtherance of His kingdom—that is success. There are those of us who work the night shift, but most of us work during the day. Jesus used this analogy to explain how we are to labor for Him (John 9:4). Jesus was specifically talking to His disciples to explain their need to work while He, the Light, was still shining in the world. His light is still shining in the world. It shines through us. We are to work for His glory until the end of day (time) when the judgment will come. In the daylight of that night (the end), each person’s life and work will be judged for what it is to God, not for what has been to men (1 Corinthians 3:12-13).

Let’s go back to the birds of Matthew 6. Flocks of flying birds are such a mysterious thing to behold. For the past few weeks there have been enormous flocks circling here and there about my town. The dense flocks move as one entity. I wonder: Who are the leaders? Why do they move when they do? What brings them here? How do they know when to land? Such questions would be trivial to the birds. They have found true success; they do not worry about these things. They trust only in the Lord who gives them what they need. That is true success—to find joy and satisfaction in what the Lord provides. True success is not being unhappy with what the Lord has not given you. It is the curse of man to long for more. We will always long for it; we will never possess it. We must come to understand we will never be content with this world.

Middle ground is the same as straddling the fence; one foot on the left while the other is on the right. It must be a most uncomfortable place to be.

Middle ground smacks of compromise, indecisiveness, hesitancy, and powerlessness.

To some it is safer than the two extremes. It does not require that you make a statement for what you believe, desire, or expect.
Others say those who sit in the middle have the opportunity to bring the two extremes together.  And maybe that is the purpose for this oft-visited real estate.

Maybe there are those God has called to occupy the seat of the middle ground. Maybe some good will come from that much sought after position; I don’t know. But, God has not bent me in that direction.

People say I am opinionated, forceful, hard, unyielding, stubborn, strong willed, in charge, proud, arrogant, and probably other adjectives that are whispered. And maybe they are right. But, one thing people never say is that they don’t know where I stand.

I do not occupy the middle ground; that seat is for someone else. Regardless of the issue, I have an opinion, a stance, a guideline, a principle, a desire, or a position. And I tend to be vocal, especially when asked.

Unfortunately, this character trait spills over into everything I do and affects everyone in my life. My family is my family. The same is true where my friends are concerned. Once you become part of my life, there is never any going back. There is no middle ground.

Is it unrealistic to expect others to treat me the same way? Probably, but I still harbor that expectation. When you let me into your life, there is never any going back. There is no middle ground.

You may prefer the middle ground, the place of least commitment; the safest place to sit. And I suppose there is something to be said for playing it safe. However, I prefer the excitement of full commitment and wide-eyed expectations. Can you not sense the surge of excitement that builds as you throw your shoulders back and embrace a new vision, a new hope? That’s the thrill of refusing to sit down on middle ground.

Our Lord did not embrace the middle ground. He called for complete commitment; total lordship over our lives. Take a stand, form an opinion, or state a principle by which to live. Commit your energy to your Lord, your family, and your friends. Let them know you love them, unequivocally. Change your residence if you must. Refuse to occupy middle ground.

Knowing through other people is risky. Speakers often don’t make verbal endnotes, but you have to know they got their information somewhere. That source learned it from someone or something else, and that source from someone or something else, and so on, and so on. Somewhere down the line in whatever source someone was the first to experience the event or think of the idea. Can we really trust that? We don’t always know how accurate information is. Good writers can write things in such a way that anything can sound true. Adequate rationale or rhetoric can make anything make sense. Anything can be said to make anything sound stupid.

And knowing through your own conception or perception is riskier. One might conceivably know something for sure through experiential witness. But can we really? Is it always possible to trust our senses? The world of man is fallen. The eyes lie. The ears deceive. The sense of touch can mislead. One cannot fully trust any of the senses. And that’s not all. One cannot fully trust the mind or heart. What we read, hear, and see we often twist to agree with our own preconceived opinions. So basically, we cannot trust ourselves.

Is there no recourse, then? If we cannot fully trust anyone or anything else, if we cannot fully trust even ourselves, what is the hope of knowing anything at all? How can we trust the Bible, if we cannot trust our eyes?

It all goes back to the glory days in the Garden of Eden. Ironically, the event that opened the eyes of man also closed them. The first lust for knowledge deprived Adam, Eve, and all future mankind of ever being able to completely trust anyone or anything of this earth for full knowledge. (Read about this tragic scene in Genesis 3.) How can we believe in God if we cannot fully trust our own hearts and minds?

First, we must understand the imperfection of the present, worldly knowledge. Everything in this world is passing. There is not a thing in this world that will last. God, on the other hand, is complete perfection. When His perfection enters, the world’s imperfections will cease existing. That means the imperfection of our thinking will be no more. Right now we have a faulty picture of everything, but when that time comes we shall see everything clearly (John 13:8-12).

Second, we must understand the imperfection of worldly wisdom. Wisdom knows how to use knowledge. What the world thinks is wisdom is not really wisdom. It is selfishness masquerading as wisdom. True wisdom is from God and is characterized by selflessness, purity, peace, consideration, submissiveness, mercy, and good fruit (James 3:13-17).

Third, we must seek these things from God, the only source of perfect knowledge and understanding. Prayer is how we express our relationship with our heavenly Father. Like a devoted child, we must come to Him in love. He knows what we need and therefore knows we need His gift of knowledge. However, we must ask for it (Psalm 119:65).

Fourth, we must be very careful that what we think is godly knowledge is really godly knowledge. God delivers wisdom and knowledge through the Holy Spirit. The Bible warns there is a danger of being deceived by other people. First John 4:1-3 warns of many “false prophets” in the world who are the “spirit of the antichrist.” We can recognize the falsity of these people by whether or not they confess Jesus really appeared in the flesh. Believing and obeying Jesus who came in the flesh is the crux of the whole matter. Through obedience of Him we shall receive knowledge through the Holy Spirit. We shall know the truth and the truth will set us free (John 8:31-32).

I have abandoned myself. I feel through the Father’s heart. I think through the Father’s mind. I know what the creator of knowing has made known to me. That is what I can know. God’s revelation of His knowledge is how you can truly know.

The world of knowledge hangs on that knowledge. That is what keeps us from despair. That is how we can truly know.

The Scriptures tell us to do all for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31) and without doubt this means sports as well. They also tell us that bodily discipline is of little profit when compared to godliness (1 Timothy 4:8). We readily acknowledge this. But it is true that bodily exercise is still important.

As Christians, when we play sports, our actions should glorify God. Sports should be a time of relaxation, enjoyment, physical satisfaction, and fellowship. Our attitude when playing should always be Christ-honoring.

If we participate in sports with unbelievers, they should be able to tell there is something different about us. We don’t get furious or use foul language when things don’t go our way. We show good sportsmanship and are gracious as winners as well as losers. It’s ok to joke, to have a good time, and to poke fun at someone if it is done in a playful spirit. There is also nothing wrong with showing desire, competitiveness, and joy when playing. That’s only natural and normal. Sports can and should be God-honoring and enjoyable to us.

Sports Can Hurt Our Christian Walk
But for many Christians, this is not how sports are played. Sports often bring out the very sins we should be trying to eliminate—pride, anger, boasting, envy, bitterness, and idolatry are often associated with our activities. The golfer who misses an easy putt and lashes out in anger; the basketball player who curses under his breath at a call he felt was wrong; the person who watches so much sports that it becomes an idol. These are a few examples that many of us know all too well. And the sad fact is that many Christians say nothing about it, and some even promote these actions.

A former basketball player reminisces about how practice was slow until a fight broke out between two players and now even encourages it to motivate the team. Is this the Christian way? A player thinks he is unbeatable and carries a swagger that reminds everyone of this fact. He says it is confidence, but often it is nothing more than selfish pride. A football player makes a tackle, quickly gets on his feet, hovering over the ball carrier, staring him down. He wants to make sure everyone sees his dominance over the other person. Pride. 

We must be careful, lest we promote attitudes and actions that the Scripture forbids. Once again, it is ok to try hard in sports and be competitive, but there is a point where playing hard stops, where competitiveness stops, and sin begins.
Parents may say their children will play sports no matter what because sports build character. But if that were always true, then our professional athletes should be the most well-behaved citizens in our country. We know that is not always the case.     

Not only can sports interfere with our behavior toward others—they can also impact our relationship with God. How many of us can bring up from memory the latest stat, score, and sports update but are unable to quote and explain some of the most well known teachings of the Bible? How many parents are teaching their children the sports they love while never thinking of their children’s souls that could be heading for hell?

A Better Way
Sports can and should be enjoyed. They should be played for the glory of God and in a Christ-like spirit. The questions we should ask ourselves about the sports we play, as well as everything we do in life, are these: Is God glorified and pleased with the way I behave? Is this hurting my spiritual life?

If we cannot participate in sports in a way that glorifies and honors God, then we must stop playing—at least until we can play in the right way. Someone when reading this may say, “But sports will never be the same if we play them in this way.” 

Exactly.

Frodo lay unmoving, unable to stand. The mountain was in sight; they were so near, yet so far. Sam reached down, and pulled Frodo onto his shoulders. "Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you" (my favorite line in the entire trilogy).

Sam was Frodo's gardener, a simple man in some people's minds. He was not the one entrusted with the ring. He was not the one people looked to for leadership, nor was he expected to have all the answers. Yet, when the going was the toughest, Sam came through. It is doubtful Frodo's mission would have been successful had Sam not tagged along.
Loyal. If one word could describe Sam, that’s it. He was never very far from Frodo. Although Frodo was committed to destroying the ring, Sam was committed to Frodo. The task that had been thrust upon Frodo was made easier by Sam's loyalty and faithfulness. When Frodo could go no farther, Sam stepped to the plate; he stood in the gap.

"I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you."

Has God entrusted you with a task that, at times, seems almost impossible to complete? Exhausted, you lay crumpled, unable to get up. Despair washes over you, draining you of every ounce of courage you ever possessed. You need a Sam who will come alongside you, pick you up, and set you back on the course God has planned for you. Look around. Somewhere, maybe lurking back in the shadows, God has placed a Sam in your life to watch out for you, to step to the plate, to stand in the gap when life becomes tough.

"I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you."

Don't miss out on the blessing of being Sam. Frodo needs you.

I found myself intrigued, and maybe a little envious, of the confidence she exuded in regards to the protocols of dating. She wasn’t the type to be held hostage by her phone, waiting for the next call or text, nor was she opposed to initiating contact with a guy if she was interested in him. Wow, what had happened to the gender roles and rules of my era? Not wanting to seem too outdated or expose my generation gap, I nodded encouragingly and agreeably in an attempt to appear current with these trends. Suddenly and somehow, amidst the chaos and clatter that echoed throughout the Panera Bread, we found ourselves deeply engaged in the subject of choices and what motivates our dating decisions.

We discussed why, in dealing with members of the opposite sex, we often allow someone, based strictly on warm fuzzy feelings or physical attractions, to take our affection or steal our hearts away without making any real investments in us or toward the overall well-being of the relationship. These kinds of people simply take what they want, when they want it, yet our overwhelming desire to be with that person overshadows all sense of reason or rationale. Both guys and girls have been casualties of these types of romances, and those who are lucky can suffice in applying a bandage to their emotional scrapes. For others, however, the devastation can cut much deeper and their wounds require a lifetime of healing.

Because I was older, in typical parental know-it-all fashion, I reminded her that Proverbs 4:23 directs us to safeguard our heart because where it leads, our mind and body are destined to follow. I explained that our actions, both physical and spiritual, flow from our heart and that those intentions, either good or bad, chart our course throughout life. Because of this reality and for the sake of our long-term happiness, we need to ensure that our emotions aren’t easily led astray and that we seek someone who is willing to win our heart, not just steal it away. Having said that and after realizing that I sounded like the Brady Bunch mom, I ordered our desserts and we drifted off into recollecting the young girl I once knew.

Genuine joy comes from a real relationship with God. It is something all believers can and should know. The Bible is very clear joy comes from a hope and trust in Christ (1 Peter 1:7-9). With joy, we can glory in suffering. And suffering results in perseverance, character, and hope (Romans 5:1-5). There is a type of pleasure involved as well. It is not a temporary, worldly pleasure; it is an eternal pleasure (Psalm 16:11). We can rejoice knowing God gives us power over the forces of evil. However, a cause for even greater rejoicing is knowing our names are written in the Book of Life (Luke 10:20).

If you are a Christian, you are in a relationship. Christians are never single whether or not they have a human companion. I am NOT arguing against marriage—not at all. Marriage is a very good thing. Even more, it is a blessing from God. If you feel God leading you to marry, then do so. What I am saying is that personal joy and meaning should not be sought through relationships with other people. True joy is not found in these things alone. It is found only in God. The joy of that relationship will seep into our earthly relationships.

There are two timetables regarding marriage: The world’s and God’s. The world expects us to marry as soon as possible. They would have us believe there is no point to life without a significant other. God’s timetable is quite different. It is not hurried or desperate. On God’s timetable, we marry in His good time. It may be next year; it may be much later—it may even be never.

Keeping God’s timetable in mind, we need not worry about marriage. You can find meaning as a single person. There is no excuse not to do so as a Christian single. There is much you can do for God. Find peace in the fact that you are not married. There’s no reason to worry about it. In Luke 12:22-31 Jesus teaches the pointlessness of worrying. He gives the examples of ravens and lilies. They do nothing, yet God feeds and clothes them. God takes care of animals and flowers. Won’t He take care of His beloved children? Jesus urged them to seek the kingdom of God. Do that and don’t stress about everything else. With Jesus’ help, take joy in your singlicitude.

I always understood “submission” to mean that you do what your man says, no questions asked. I pictured an Ozzy and Harriet situation where the man comes home from work and the woman has dinner hot on the table, her best outfit on and her hair up, looking chipper. The man proceeds to pay little attention to her, and she continues to shower him with love and affection while he barks out demands. This was simply not what either of us wanted for our marriage.

However, I slowly began to notice that my strong will and incessant need to push my agenda began to deflate my husband. He wanted to lead, but I wasn’t letting him—and then I was nagging him for not being a leader. If I trusted him and believed that he would make the best decisions for our life and future, would it be so hard for me to just give a little? I came to realize that when I didn’t empower my husband to make decisions and show that I trusted him to do it, his confidence level stooped very low.

I first had to come to the conclusion that I really trusted him and knew that he would make right choices. And the more I allowed him to have a little room in our decisions, the more understanding, loving, and strong he became. I never realized the amazing power that women have to build their husbands up without being torn down themselves. I came to realize that “submission” was nothing that I had originally thought. It was a beautiful concept that brought out the best in both of us and allowed us to grow in love and trust. It wasn’t about me laying down and being a doormat. It was about allowing my husband to lead in a way that brought blessing on our marriage and revealed the amazing potential in both of us.

So these days, I do make my husband dinner when he gets home, when I can. I love to serve him—because he deserves it, not because he expects me to. We are definitely not the Ozzy and Harriet type, but I am grateful for what we have learned about God’s vision for marriage and what a beautiful thing it can be when we both let down our pride.

Walls present few choices for reaching the other side. Still the challenge remains. People have devised numerous ways to get past walls. Grappling hooks with ropes attached are thrown over the top of the wall and a skilled climber is easily up and over. Those with more time and less imagination dig down and under the foundation of the wall, thus reaching their destination. The more agile simply take a stroll and walk the length of the wall, getting past its obstruction. But the most insidious wall is the glass wall. The need to get past the wall does not exist. One merely looks; all is revealed. And yet it, too, remains a barrier.

God had a more ingenious way of getting to the other side of the wall. When the children of Israel followed Joshua to attack Jericho, God told them to march around the city once each day and on the seventh day they were to march around Jericho seven times; the priests were to blow their rams’ horns, the people were to shout, and the walls would fall down. There were no grappling hooks, no ropes, no shovels. The people were simply to trust God to give them the victory. The walls built to prevent the intruder, the captor, from taking possession of the city failed to do their job. At the people’s shout on the seventh day, the walls fell down flat. They did not crumble or collapse, strewing the pathway with debris. Neither did they shatter and leave shards of glass for the unsuspecting traveler. Nothing blocked the path of the Israelites as they marched into the city, victors!

Sometimes people are like the city of Jericho, thinking they are hidden behind impregnable walls, safe and sound. Nothing can reach them; they are completely protected from any perceived threat or harm. Often people build walls so high even the most athletic climber cannot reach the top, so thick excavation is impossible. And to think of walking past the wall is unrealistic. Yet, God says to tear down those walls. He wants to get inside. Sometimes, He has to knock the walls down flat, making the pathway plain for all to see.

Recently, God brought events to bear on my fortified “city” that resulted in my self-imposed walls falling down flat. People who have cared for me for a lot of years have painstakingly chipped away at the foundation of my walls. Some have even tried to circumvent the perimeter of my “city,” looking for any crack or broken place to squeeze through. Eventually most gave up, suspending all efforts, choosing to let me remain closed and hidden behind my walls of protection. Miraculously, these precious people remained my friends, loving me in spite of myself.

Then at just the right moment in my life and in God’s timing, God’s divine plan worked and the right person arrived who was able to do in a matter of months what others had tried desperately to do for decades. Unrelentingly, with the tenacity of a bulldog, she did not look back nor did she ever loosen her grip. She pushed, questioned, prodded, and loved. Slowly, as a flower opens in the spring, one petal at a time, the layers began to peel away and soon my soul lay open, raw and bare for all to see. There is no need for a skilled climber, any amount of earth-moving equipment, or walking shoes. My glass wall has shattered, offering no resistance. Just step across and have a look around.

What lies on the other side of the wall? Freedom—freedom to be myself, freedom to use all of my abilities and gifts, freedom to love and be loved, freedom to follow God’s call, and freedom to live a happy and contented life. Was it worth the pain of allowing God to expose the deepest recesses of my mind and heart, the secret places? You tell me. Have you looked at me lately? Then it’s time you did.

For an instant, you wonder if it's her radiance that has captivated your spiritual brethren. A nano-second later, you realize their stares are actually "snares" and for one single reason: your girlfriend—and fellow Christian—is Black.

From Jews and Gentiles to Africans and Europeans, multicultural churches have long been embraced, century-old social barriers breaking down amongst believers now more than ever. But what about interracial dating and marriages within the church? What are some of the difficulties and controversial clashes of Hispanics, Blacks, Asians, Middle Easterners, and other nationalities that have romantically crossed over before His cross?

“Obviously in church, no one’s ever gonna come out and share about their being prejudiced of you and your spouse, but their actions are blaring,” says Clay Harris, an African-American Christian man married to a Caucasian. “I’ve had people in church say to my wife before and after we got married, ‘How could you hook up with that guy?’ or tell us ‘I love you’ and ‘We’re here for you’ a bunch of times, and not ever be there.” 

In a place where ethnic acceptance should be the norm, tension can still stir for many interracial couples within God’s kingdom, bombarded and betrayed by church brethren over factors far deeper than the average congregational concerns. Pitted against issues involving tradition, belief, ideals, customs, countries, culture, creed, family, and fear, the Son’s ethnic "rainbow" of romance lacks luster when racially integrated Christians are loathed—not loved—by both the world and fellow followers. 

You Would Think
There are more than 2 million interracial marriages in the U.S. today, accounting for about 5 percent of the total, couples who must ask themselves, “Are we prepared for the comments and criticisms we may face as an interracial family?” “Do we have the capacity and creativity to merge two cultures?” “Can we be secure in raising biracial kids?”

But should these questions be posed for cross-cultured Christians in the church? If we who are in Christ are all indeed “red,” as the mantra often goes, then why are there not more racially mixed couples in our fellowships? While it’s unlikely we’ll ever see car ads or soap commercials with interracial families as the norm, why don’t the majority of gospel tracts or Sunday School walls contain pictures of intermixed couples and their children?

From Hispanics dating Persians to Asians marrying Hessians amongst God’s flock, the following article is an inside look at today's racially mixed Christian couples, their challenges inside and outside the church, and the reasons behind most of these difficulties. We will explore both legitimate and illegitimate reasons as to why interracial relationships are not traditionally commonplace amongst even believers and will provide testimonials of cultural clashes brought on by kingdom kin who don’t always sing, “… they are precious in His sight.”

Family Outreach
In following The Great Commission, any disciple of Christ who has helped convert a father, brother, son, or nephew can speak volumes of the joys of bringing a family member to God. However, in the minds of many Christians, family outreach depends heavily on one’s spouse or girlfriend. Cultural differences, language barriers, and/or just plain prejudice that an unsaved relative may harbor can cloud and shroud their desire to know a spouse of different origin, thus hindering a couple’s goal to help their family know Christ.

“The main reason I wish to marry someone in my own race is that it would be easier to reach out to members of my family who are not Christians,” says Rod Pincaro, a Filipino Christian single. “In my culture, a certain clique is built amongst the people, and it would be difficult for my future spouse to relate if she is not Filipino.”

Added Persecution
Persecution for faith in Jesus is inevitable (2 Timothy 3:12). Let’s face it—the mere mention of His name can really bring out the ugliness in people. And for followers already struggling with the daily challenges of self denial, an interracial relationship can be an extra meatloaf on a Christian’s plate of problems.  

“The minute I first told my parents I was marrying a Latino, all I got from them was, ‘You’re irresponsible and selfish,’” comments Jheni Solis, a Korean Christian woman. “Mixed minority relationships pose more unique challenges than others. Strong and sometimes very opposite cultures trying to merge, such as Latinos and Asians, can cause heavy friction between families. I feel blessed to have married into an Americanized family (my husband being fourth-generation Mexican) who accept me as I am.”

Curtis Reed, a Christian who is part Caucasian and African American and married to a Latina, tells of an incident during his singlehood. “When a fellow Christian, who happened to be Mexican, invited me to her birthday party as a date, I noticed that her dad kept staring at me,” says Reed. “He was a tad drunk and finally said to his daughter, ‘He better be Puerto Rican—not no ni---r.’”  
   
Interracial Children
Another reason some Christians choose to opt out in cross-culture relationships is because of the hardships it may play on their children. Kids with mixed backgrounds are like sheep amongst wolves when around peers, adolescent cruelty unbearable for any Christian parent who faces enough challenges with the spiritual battle. Harris tells of problems he foresees in raising his half White, half Black 3-year-old son.

“In our society, it’s very easy for minorities to try and fit in with the majority and hide who they are inside because of the racial stigmatism that’s out there,” says Harris. “Because of this, my selfish, sinful nature automatically wants my son to hang out with only people of color. However, as a Christian, there’s a balance that can and must be forged, where my son can feel comfortable and be able to relate to Black people, and at the same time respect other races as well.”

Church Status
Deleon Aramour, a Black man, recalls his early days of being a Christian when attending leadership classes of his church to become a minister. These classes contained some of the most bizarre statements on race and marriage he has ever heard.

“Our lead evangelist at the time, who was conducting the classes, told us that if we were to be effective in full-time ministry, each of us needed to date and marry someone from our own race,” says Aramour. “To the ministry staff, it was a more ‘attractive’ and ‘effective outreach’ to the non-Christian.”  

Aramour also testifies to an encounter he had in his church when attempting to court and date a Christian Latina. “[My interest] was very active in the Latin Ministry of our church, and her and I had been building a friendship for six to seven months. One day, I got a call from her ministry leader (a Latino married to a Caucasian). He basically told me that they didn’t want me dating a woman from their ministry because there would be no way for us to ever be on a mission team together. It was Solo La Rasa, as he put it.”
  
Upbringing
A good percentage of us are indebted to our parents for sculpting and carving us into the people we are today. But whether good or bad, the seeds of parental influence can be difficult to uproot. 

“A lot of Christians today have parents who lived through times like the 60s and the Civil Rights movement,” says Steve Burkulis, a Caucasian Christian currently engaged to a Black woman. “In many of these cases, sadly, these parents can pass on to their children negativity toward certain races.”

Jay Minor, a minister of a multicultural church in Los Angeles, speaks of another childhood influence parallel to our parents’.

“Many churches are quite racially segregated because of tradition and generations of personal preference,” says Minor.  “Those who have grown up in churches like these and come from a long line of Christian families are more likely to object to interracial marriage, as opposed to people who have recently been converted.”

Old Remnants
Though a new creation, certain habits from a Christian’s “B.C. days” can resurface. For some, this can entail a personal preference in race when choosing a mate, be it harmless or harmful. “Before becoming a Christian, 90 percent of my guy preference was Whites,” says Keesha Bunche, an African American Christian woman engaged to a Caucasian. “I guess you can compare it to why some people prefer apples over oranges—both taste good, but for some people, there are things that are a little more exciting than others. I admit, my past preference might have influence on my choices today, but it’s ultimately based on a man’s spirituality.

“Unfortunately, other Christians with past racial preferences can drag other things into their Christian life, such as prejudice and ‘hang ups’ toward other races, and overlook what’s really important—a person’s love for God.”

Conclusion
Joseph’s “CEO” package included the daughter of an Egyptian priest. Moses married Zipporah, daughter of Jethro the Midianite. Boaz took great joy in his Moabite bride, Ruth, our Savior’s mixed lineage. Queen Esther’s intermarriage with King Xerxes (which forestalled the annihilation of the Jewish people) was also unique. And although intermarriage is not specifically mentioned, Paul and Peter’s writings affirm that all Christians—regardless of race—are bound together as one holy people of God. The only example of our Lord’s disapproval of intermarriage was/is if a believer was/is “unequally yoked” with a non-believer.

Is it wrong, therefore, for Christians to prefer mates of the same race to preserve culture, promote outreach, or simply fulfill a personal desire? Not at all. But if we can eliminate most of the negative, stereotypical reasons for not having more mixed couples in the church, our radical union with the One who broke barriers to be with us would be all the more colorfully displayed.


About the author: Michael Lizarraga is a Los Angeles-based freelance writer and follower of Christ. His work can also be found in martial arts, cultural and faith-based publications.